After discussing this with the people most often using the mutual aid community and feedback here we will be making a single change.
Meta posts will no longer be permitted in !mutual_aid@hexbear.net critical meta posts must not be about specific users and posted in !feedback@hexbear.net at risk of removal.
We will change the mutual aid sidebar to remove the clause permitting meta posts, we will also ask that users post once a day so that everyone's post's can be seen but this is not a hard rule as it is pretty clear that removing posts is a last resort in that community. This joins the other community recommendations that users include currency, how much is needed, updating when a user has received funds, or updating/locking the post when the need has been met.
This will be unfeatured in about 12 hours
~~Hello users of hexbear:
Due to recent meta posts in our mutual aid community we wanted to open up discussion about the community !mutual_aid@hexbear.net
We will never require explanation or justification from a user asking for aid in the community, and the mod and admin team continue to commit to not featuring an individual's mutual aid request to prevent unfair exposure.
In addition, we will maintain a strict "No critical comments or meta comments" on a mutual aid post.
This post is to discuss the mutual aid community's rule of allowing meta posts: mutual aid as a community, those making posts in it and those commenting on posts.
We are considering removing the exception allowing meta posts but wanted to involve the userbase before committing to a change.
Please comment with any thoughts, feelings, or suggestions regarding this change.
Thank you~~
No perfect solutions here.
Meta stuff should be kept to a minimum. If somebody thinks/knows a post on the comm is dodgy, they probably should DM the mods of the com with their 'recipts'... but... we're all mostly strangers to each other here so I'd be incredibly surprised if more than a tiny fraction of these "snitch" DM's would have iron clad claims. But if the mods decide there's enough there to act on, it should be a mod who drops a post about why a specific user or post has been locked/deleted/banned with comments from the other mods on the post letting the rest of the hexbear user base know that more mods were okay with the action than not and the conversation stops there.
Nobody here should be gatekeeping what "mutual aid" means. This is an online forum, of anonymous users, where practically no Hexbears are ever physically around another Hexbear user. What "mutual aid" means in this context is pretty much, drop a few bucks in a Venmo or post emojis of sympathy. If you want to drop some change in somebody's digital tin cup, awesome. If you're worried about "being ripped off" you might want to rethink what you're doing looking at the mutual aid com.
I think this holds up when its people asking for $20 here and there. Anyone e-panhandling for $20 clearly needs the money far more than I do, same as people on the street. But when its hundreds or thousands for specific needs, I think it does matter that those needs are genuine because that amount of money could have fed dozens of others rather than potentially going to someone who isn't being truthful. I don't think that's generally the case, I think the vast majority of our posters have been genuine, but to say nobody should care at all if they're being lied to is hard for me to stomach
In an idealistic way, I get it, it should matter. Only the deserving few should feel free to ask for help and of those deserving few only the most deserving should actually get the help.
However, I am confident in my thought that none of us here has the ability to figure out who is the most deserving to be allowed to ask for help and receive it.
In my mind, in this setting, there should be absolutely no difference between a mutual_aid request for 20 bucks every few days or a request for the full amount of monthly expenses. Nobody is required to give anything.
If a $1,000 request offends you, fine. Give to a $20 request.
If a request mutual_aid poster posts too many requests, give to an infrequent poster.
If you think a claim is illegitimate, don't give to it.
I don't have the ability or desire to be a cop about this, I don't think anybody else has the ability or desire to be cop about this. And because of that, I'm pretty solid in my opinion that "it doesn't matter."
I actually agree about just about all of that but if you have knowledge that a request is illegitimate why should the site ban you from sharing that info? that just feels wrong. its not like there's a huge history of constant fights over metaposting and stuff (they are rarely actually made, 1 this month), and anything over the line gets removed by mods. I can see how it could turn into a slapfight I guess, but it's been allowed for the past however many months or more and it hasn't been much of an issue in my view.
As I said, no perfect solutions here.
Use a gentle hand when vetting requests and firmer one when dealing with the comments about the requests to allow people in the future to ask for help without feeling they will be attacked.
Or a firm hand with the requests and take a more relaxed moderation stance towards the comments negative of the request or the person making the request and make it a more hostile place to try to ask for help.