this post was submitted on 28 May 2025
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They don’t want you to know about the dish gnomes forced to work in tight spaces under terrible conditions.
You don't replace your dish gnome cartridge every 3 years? I was told it was a feature. They get tired.
Oh you absolutely need to replace the gnome cartridge, my dad would always freak out if we didn't. That's like day 1 of dishwasher school.
I hate when the dishwasher says it's low on cyan gnomes, but I can see them right there
First, you have to remove the dead gnomes. Straight to the compost heap, not in the regular garbage! Cause nature and stuff ...
Your gnomes shouldn't be dead, they're technically immortal and a stint in the dishwasher is their ticket out of the salt mines. If you've got dead gnomes the last thing you want is to keep their bodies on the premises. If you leave them in the cartridge they can be revived when you exchange it for the new cartridge. If you put them in the ground they will find... other ways back to their realm, and they will remember what you did.
And please remember to buy gnomane dishwashing tablets, I cannot stress enough how much they should not be dead.
Also don't ask me why the gnome salt mine slavery exists, I didn't create it, I just benefit from it.
I'll guess then that they'll prefer the salt mines above me. Those little bastards, playing for dead! I will shave all their beards!
Your funeral, don't say I didn't warn you.
They better don't disobey their lord and master, or I'll pee over the shoebox that is their home again.
This is praxis