this post was submitted on 08 Jun 2025
95 points (92.0% liked)

Ask Lemmy

32364 readers
1854 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I know I keep posting over and over but I’m in so much pain and I have no one or nowhere to go to when I am sad. I’m trying to channel everything internally without being such a burden and annoyance to people. I keep asking myself “why didn’t he fight for me and his relationship?” “Why am I so easy to be given up on?” “Was I even special to him?” … I cannot stop crying. I feel hopeless right now. When we stopped talking for a couple days and I reached out for closure, he said not speaking for those three days makes him realize he should’ve been more appreciative of me and how hard I tried and all those things. But if he was saying those things then why not turn it around? 😔I sound like a hopeless romantic but I can’t wrap my head around anything anymore… the closure somehow made it worse I guess. I told him I forgive him for anything he thinks he did wrong. He appreciated that. I miss him so much. I miss our memories, I miss his face. Something deep down inside of me feels like I’m going to see his face again but I know that’s false reality. We never even got to talk to each other about these things in person. I just want to cry in his arms.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] QuizzaciousOtter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (3 children)

I'm afraid you can't really just stop it immediately. It will get better with time though. In the meantime healthy distractions are probably your best shot. When I was in similar situation to yours I started spending pretty much any free time I had on two things: running and learning guitar. Half of the time I was doing it with tears in my eyes but it was still better than just getting lost in depressing thoughts. It took me like 3 months until the breakup wasn't dominating my thoughts everyday. It was hard AF but in this time I actually learned something, improved and rediscovered myself. Sport and music have become major parts of my life. Now, years later, I'm actually thankful for this breakup. I wouldn't be the person I am today if it didn't happen and I definitely prefer current myself to the past myself.

You just need to plow through the hard times. It WILL get better! I wish you all the best.

[–] canadianchik@lemm.ee 1 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

I have no motivation anymore for so much.. it’s diminishing. School is a burden to me now, gym I don’t even wanna go. I know I get my off days and some days I feel fine than others but it’s all hitting so hard right now. It all just feels so real (which it is) and it physically makes me start heaving. I used to be in a 3 year relationship before him and I know I can heal but this hurts so much and I only known him for like 6 months ish (end of November).. it hurts so bad. I miss him so fucking much. I just wish me and him can talk about it in person because last time we didn’t speak about our feelings we just cried and he said it’s over and cried more and than laughed it off for a bit and continued crying, we stayed friends but then I decided to stop talking because I felt undervalued and it just sucks so fucking much. His last text just confused me and there’s so much answers I want

[–] QuizzaciousOtter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

It's like a week since you went no contact if I gather correctly. That's still very early. In my case, for instance, I barely left my bed for the first 2 weeks. All the other stuff came a bit later. I don't really remember how much exactly. So yeah, unfortunately the answer is still just time.

I might have another suggestion as well. For me journaling was kinda helpful. My head was full of alternative scenarios, questions to ask and things to say to my ex. Since I couldn't do that, writing it down cleared my head a little bit. I guess don't do that if it will make you dwell on the breakup even more. But if that's all you think about anyway, then there's probably nothing to lose here.

Sending virtual hugs your way. Be strong!

[–] canadianchik@lemm.ee 1 points 4 hours ago

his message just confuses me and I can’t stop re-reading it. It’s been a few days - almost a week soon I can’t remember, I cleared the convo because I can’t look at it but it’s on my laptop still :/ I can’t make sense out of the message.