this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost
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It gets old after 3-5 years and you start to encounter fundamental needs like social interaction and the purpose work brings to one's life. The failures weigh pretty heavily; far more that you're likely to expect. A lot of my best ideas and dreams for projects were unexpectedly tied to other chance circumstances that were not present when I had all the time in the world.
Mind you, I am very physically limited, still fully mobile but I can't hold upright posture to sit up or stand for more than an hour at a time. That has never changed in 11 years, but I am degrading and was slightly more physically capable years ago.
I was super capable with my hands before things changed like, painting cars, building engines, high level fabrication, some machining, mig, stick, and tig welding etc. I had to learn new interests like electronics, programming, and 3d printing. Still I have had the unlimited time hack in life, largely in social isolation due to limitations. Lemmy is a substantial remedy to this very problem for me.
Anyways, life is about the journey, not the destination, so don't get too hung up on those dreams of unlimited time. Should you be unlucky enough to experience something like I have, you'll likely miss what you have now and realize the richness of your present dynamic range of life experience.
As a stay at home dad, I should have time to accomplish something, but I don’t. I just clean all day and chase kids around.
Then I get insecure and have nightmares where my wife is telling me she’s moving out because she found someone else who has a good job.
I plead with her, “I’m only doing this because you told me to! I’ll go work wherever. We’ve got it good. We’re happy. Why are you doing this? I would have never quit my job without you telling me to do just that, and this is what it gets me?”
I really wish I could stop my brain from creating all of this stupid shit when I go to sleep. I at least wish I could sleep through it and forget about it.
I at least know it’s just my insecurity and I don’t make it her problem. I had an ex who would dream I cheated or that I was leaving her and she’d be pissed at me for days haha. I was all, “look babe, I didn’t fuck her, you practically just seen a drawing that your brain made of me fucking her. You can’t hold that against me!” :p