this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 23 comments
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[–] fireweed@lemmy.world 8 points 10 hours ago

Good news: In America, there are currently lots of opportunities to go to prison (not an American? It's even easier!)

Bad news: it's not the kind of prison with gym and art.

[–] youCanCallMeDragon@lemmy.world 10 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Could be a good career move. Look at Nelson Mandela; he died in prison and then became president.

[–] Opisek@lemmy.world 1 points 10 hours ago

With or without a monocle?

[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 4 points 9 hours ago

Omg. As someone who's done time... I get it.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 63 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago) (1 children)

Yeah, okay. Good luck focusing when you're interrupted by three square meals a day and a predictable bedtime.

[–] not_IO@lemmy.blahaj.zone 39 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

not to mention all the anal sex

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 42 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Stop making prison sound awesome 😩

[–] Grass@sh.itjust.works 10 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

No homo but I was going to say something like this if you didn't

[–] My_IFAKs___gone@lemmy.world 3 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Nothing wrong with it if you were, tho. Nothing wrong with you not being, tho. Nothing wrong ever. Except maybe nonconsensual anal sex, but only because it's nonconsensual.

[–] Grass@sh.itjust.works 1 points 7 hours ago

one of my friends would always say "no homo but blablablah..... ok maybe a decent amount homo" and I swear everyone started saying similar stuff

[–] My_IFAKs___gone@lemmy.world 11 points 17 hours ago

I just learned a prison in my municipality has its inmates train dogs.

I went looking for a sign up sheet. Found none :(

What's the softest way to earn a stint in prison?

[–] piefood@feddit.online 19 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

In the Bobiverse books, a guy uploads his brain into a computer. He then spends years flying accross space, because it takes years to get anywhere. I've often dreamed of having a few decades just to work on my fun personal projects, uninterrupted.

[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 12 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (1 children)

It gets old after 3-5 years and you start to encounter fundamental needs like social interaction and the purpose work brings to one's life. The failures weigh pretty heavily; far more that you're likely to expect. A lot of my best ideas and dreams for projects were unexpectedly tied to other chance circumstances that were not present when I had all the time in the world.

Mind you, I am very physically limited, still fully mobile but I can't hold upright posture to sit up or stand for more than an hour at a time. That has never changed in 11 years, but I am degrading and was slightly more physically capable years ago.

I was super capable with my hands before things changed like, painting cars, building engines, high level fabrication, some machining, mig, stick, and tig welding etc. I had to learn new interests like electronics, programming, and 3d printing. Still I have had the unlimited time hack in life, largely in social isolation due to limitations. Lemmy is a substantial remedy to this very problem for me.

Anyways, life is about the journey, not the destination, so don't get too hung up on those dreams of unlimited time. Should you be unlucky enough to experience something like I have, you'll likely miss what you have now and realize the richness of your present dynamic range of life experience.

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 5 points 16 hours ago

As a stay at home dad, I should have time to accomplish something, but I don’t. I just clean all day and chase kids around.

Then I get insecure and have nightmares where my wife is telling me she’s moving out because she found someone else who has a good job.

I plead with her, “I’m only doing this because you told me to! I’ll go work wherever. We’ve got it good. We’re happy. Why are you doing this? I would have never quit my job without you telling me to do just that, and this is what it gets me?”

I really wish I could stop my brain from creating all of this stupid shit when I go to sleep. I at least wish I could sleep through it and forget about it.

I at least know it’s just my insecurity and I don’t make it her problem. I had an ex who would dream I cheated or that I was leaving her and she’d be pissed at me for days haha. I was all, “look babe, I didn’t fuck her, you practically just seen a drawing that your brain made of me fucking her. You can’t hold that against me!” :p

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 2 points 18 hours ago

Don't forget he can also adjust his perception of the passing of time.

[–] GluWu@lemm.ee 9 points 19 hours ago

Bro is locked in

[–] NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 9 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (1 children)

Can I get 40K figures, plastic cement, brushes, and paint in prison by any chance? If so, which ones?

No reason.

[–] python@lemmy.world 4 points 20 hours ago

You can, but you only get GW brand paints and bushes (at full price). No wet pallete either, have fun with the paint skin.

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 5 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Pretty sure it don't work like that

[–] Zwiebel@feddit.org 1 points 18 hours ago
[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 3 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I have unironically thought this of myself

Same. I blame 80s TV montages.