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W-Wait, what is this? A well-thought out, constructive, sympathetic comment? Here? I don't believe it!
Real talk, though: This is an incredibly solid post and I really appreciate you taking the time to actually write all of these points out. It's rare (or, subjectively, it feels rare) to see an admission that a major shift in how this topic is approached is needed, and I feel just a bit more hopeful seeing someone else put in the time to go this deep on it.
I would only make two add-on comments to your points:
With regard to point #6, I agree with the concept - but we have to be careful of how we phrase this. Unless it comes with a major effort to utterly restructure our economy in such a way that either a man's value is no longer measured in his ability to be successful in a paid position, and/or we restructure our economy to make success more viable, I fear that efforts to support "working class heros" are doomed to become awkward failures as automation continues to steamroll the viability of those positions.
One point I don't see brought up here, though it is touched at in (1) and (8), is that we've got to modulate how we discuss so-called "toxic" behavior. When so many seemingly minor behaviors are met with the same levels of disdain, villainization, and even punishment as things like actual sexual assault, it ends up feeling deeply isolating, undermines the point that is trying to be made, and pushes men towards the worst actors.
For #6, I don't think we necessarily have to move away from the idea that being a man means being a provider and a protector. At least to me those are some of the core tenants of being a man.
The person above you mentioned the men in Avatar the last Airbender. But I also want to add in the men in LOTR, Gomez Adams, Ted Lasso, Kratos in the newer god of war games, and Steve Rodgers.
These are men who are caring, loving, emotional and they are (mostly) able to show those emotions, capable of growth, and able to admit when they are wrong. But they are still men. Men who struggle with anger, men go to war and protect their families, men who are incredibly strong in the face of struggle, men who sometimes make "inappropriate" (to the left) jokes, and men who strive for nothing else but bettering the lives of those in their care.
I sometimes hate that what counts as "positive masculinity" is really just feminity but dressed up in a blue bow. Men are not women and telling them that they can't be super competitive, can't be angry, and can't fail is just setting them up to fall into toxic masculinity. This might just be me talking about the culture I was raised in but those things aren't necessarily a bad thing, and erasing what a "man" has been for generations isn't going to win you any extra fans.
Sorry, I think maybe my point was misunderstood. Trust me, I'm in full agreement with you: Like the comment I was responding to was saying, trying to simply frame "positive" masculinity in terms of feminine traits doesn't seem like a good idea. There needs to be a positive reference for actually masculine role models and ideals.
Like, literally everything you said is something I totally agree with.
My concern is that, specifically, initiatives which idealize working-class providers and fail to recognize the way automation and computerization have significantly flattened the jobs market (especially well-paying, working-class jobs), are intrinsically doomed because we don't have an economy which widely supports men acting as supporters for a family. If we idealize a working provider but simultaneously leave things in a state where a man can't provide for his family, what I fear we're actually left with is swaths of men feeling unfulfilled and angry at those in charge for bringing them to this point.
Thanks, I'm glad you liked it!
I kinda agree on your points. I feel that working class heros could make a comeback if done well, though.
Hell ideally I'd like to see more historical stuff based on labor history, Blair Mountain was crazy and could totally be an action movie.