Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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You look well within the norm of women to me (cis woman). 🤷🏻♀️ Probably because you are one.
Haters gunna hate, especially if there’s anything “off” about you (sorry for the phrasing, I hope you know what I mean), such as having had strokes. I’ve been accused of being a man before (likely personality-based), and it’s wildly uncomfortable. I’m sorry you have to deal with that, as I’m sure it’s much more impactful for you.
I will offer that you may want to consider a different hair styling, maybe waves/curls or something like long side-swipe bangs to help frame your face rather than having your hair straight and fully pulled back (kinda more common style on long-haired men, ime). It wouldn’t be any more work than you do now to style, really, and should help accentuate the feminine aspects a bit more (being a totally feminine haircut). I have fine, straight hair, and it’s a pain to do anything fun with other than basically the style you have now, but with a good stylist to get you the cut you want, something like below would probably look fab on you. I’m probably biased tho because that’s sort of the cut I have, just without the volume, and in black and gray 😉
These days I just keep it pinned up in a rhinestone-studded French clip, with the bangs swept to the side, but not ear-tucked. Takes 2 min and looks nice.
My right hand doesn’t really have much in the way of motor control, so my hairstyles naturally tend to more simple stuff. Plus, the longer I attempt to look at my face in the mirror, the more of a migraine I get, as I can never quite resolve what I’m looking at. (The notch you see in my glasses over my right eye helps me to pin the approximate location of my head in reflections and such.)
So I usually just wear a medium bun and go with a clean presentation, or I let my hair fall in the back. Once in a while I’ll just let my hair hang loose, but it’s long enough it gets in the way.
I generally like just looking simple and presentable.
Those styles look amazing with side-swept bangs, tbh (I know because I do them, that’s what the French clip is for - replaces the hairbands for my buns. Just twist and clip, cuz I’m a lazy bitch).
The only effort you’d need to put in to styling that you don’t already, is to use your brush to separate some of the bangs chunk from what you pull back. Literally that’s it, and depending on your hair, that might just naturally happen when you go to sweep it all up, meaning it’s zero extra effort. They are wicked easy to maintain and live with, imho. And if you keep them a bit longer, you don’t have the annoying hair-in-eyes thing.
Just, you know, something to consider :) I also tend to prefer the clean and easy look, I just have a really large forehead I got made fun of a ton as a kid/young adult, so needed something to sort of downplay it. This ended up being the best of both worlds for me.