this post was submitted on 14 Jul 2025
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Quick definition for those who don't know: Cognitive dissonance occurs when a person's behavior and beliefs do not complement each other or when they hold two contradictory beliefs.

Story time! Please read this in it's entirety as there is important context as well as an actual point.

I have been spending some time with the in-laws over the past couple of weeks, because reasons. They are an immigrant family, but have been in the US since the tail end of the Vietnam war. All hold US citizenship and it's a large family.

Politics has cone up occasionally, but for the most part, we tend to steer away from those discussions when we mistakenly bring them up in conversation. Strangely enough, some are actually Trump supporters but I wouldn't go so far as to say anyone is full-blown "MAGA" or anything. I would describe the support as mild and truly ignorant of broader level politics.

So, there was some discussion about how immigrants needed to be kicked out of the US and there was support for mass deportations. Another conversation was about how "everyone"abused food stamps and welfare, but within about 10 mins, the discussion flipped to what products another person in the family could buy with their EBT card. Medicare and Medicaid is also a waste of the countries money, but then later there was a discussion about how to use those benefits for another family member.

Politics aside, cognitive dissonance is a bitch to deal with, especially when it's coupled with anecdotal evidence that may not even be real. I suspect that any experience with other "immigrants" I heard over the last couple of weeks are likely the result of a single, heavily biased experience coupled with gossip. (The gossip may create false memories of a situation the person believes is true. I think there is a special name for that.)

Telling a person bluntly that they are wrong is usually counter productive. Calling out the contradictions in beliefs can also be strangely unproductive as well. When a valid argument is made and a person realizes they can't resolve a conflicting belief, the tendency seems to be to fall back on a generic phrase like, "Well, I don't fully understand it, but that person must know what they are doing.", or something similar.

Provided that you actually give a shit, how do you go about cracking the shell of someone that has fallen victim to this kind of thing?

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[–] CmdrKeen@lemmy.today 1 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

It isn't just the negatives of what they are doing. But also the positives of what I am doing.

That still sounds like you're making it more about you than about them. And if that's the case, you'll likely continue to get subpar results.

Also, this isn't a debate, I'm just presenting you with the same information help me change my mind. And I'm not going to argue about it, you can take it or leave it.

See? Now you know how it feels to be on the other side of what you say you are doing.

[–] EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com 1 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (1 children)

Good. Sounds like we're on the same page.

[–] CmdrKeen@lemmy.today 1 points 5 hours ago

Well, I'm glad we had this conversation and wish you all the best for the future. Thank you for your time.