this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2023
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Autism
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A community for respectful discussion and memes related to autism acceptance. All neurotypes are welcome.
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Mine is in a few weeks. Here is why I am doing it.
it is free in my area, though it's taken a few years to get here.
I am focusing on my mental heath. I've been seeing a therapist for awhile. Knowing if I am autistic may help me in finding and navigating some of my mental blocks. I often lack a nerutypical perspective when empathy is very important to me. I also possess a lot of self hate so in theroy this may help me take it easy on myself.
Am I finding some of my "quirks" are getting stronger as I get older. I've gotten even more unfocused and exhausted. The diagnosis may help me get treatment for these problems before they get too bad. Though that will probably just be dietary.
I've noticed increase exponentially since I was diagnosed. It's like I realized that I was masking and not everyone else is also trying to act normal, so I rebelled by slowly removing the mask while I connect with my true self. Now, I'm extra quirky and it continues to intensify to the point that I almost insist on not wearing a mask at any time. I still wear one that's a bit transparent at work to keep things running smoothly, but my mask is nowhere as covering as it used to be.
I've experienced something similar, but I take it as I'm acknowledging my needs. Rather than force myself to accomplish all tasks by sheer will and dissociating from my sensory input and emotions, I acknowledge them and take steps to avoid over doing while also time to recover.
With both of these together, I would say that I'm the most me I've ever been, and that has given me a sense of peace I hadn't experienced before. It's pretty odd, but in a really good way.
Thanks for sharing. I'm still dealing with the concern that if I become more me, and less.of a workaholic, it'll negatively impact my career.
I think living my truth whould be me sleeping a lot more and generally more lazy. Though I'm currently aiming to improve my career, aiming for a promotion and pay off the mountain of debit I've been struggling under.
However the reality is that I have burst if productively where I get weeks of work done. Most of the day I am on lemmy here, or in a state of half sleep untill quitting time. I just jiggle my mouse so teams shows me as availible. So I'm not really all that productive now. But the illusion that I'm working hard for 8 hours a day in more important then what I am actually doing I guess.
What's worse is I like my job, it's good work that actually helps people. So unproductive days just feel awful.
Woah, that sounds rough. In my experience, when I have behaved like you described, I was burnt out and depressed. I'm currently recovering from a multi-month rough period, but with the help of an autism therapist. I'm slowly re-engaging in life while paying attention to how my body feels and accepting when I'm pushing myself too hard.
I don't know if that's relevant to your situation, but I hope things get better and more comfortable for you 🙂
Thak you.
you're welcome 🙂