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So, on pronouns. (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by shapis@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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I have a few questions on how to best behave to be as welcoming and inclusive as possible without sounding bad. I hope you guys don't hate me.

I'm just a straight male. Are my pronouns he/him? Is that how I should tell people? Do you actually tell them as you meet them ? Do I have to wait for a certain social cue ?

How about online. Should I tell people or have it on my personal profile somewhere?

And about respecting other people's pronouns. How do i figure them out ? Is it a big faux pas if I don't before I know them ? Is it a faux pas if I refer to someone I just met and I assumed to be male as he/him?

I've never seen anyone referring to anyone irl by non conventional pronouns. Is it an actual thing or is it currently being pushed to make the world a more inclusive place?

I'd love some help with all of this.

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[–] ricecake@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yup, that's about it. A good tactic if you're not sure about someone's gender is to lead with your own: "hi, I'm shapis, he/him". They'll invariably follow suit most of the time. If they don't and you get it wrong, well, you tried and were polite about it.

[–] DogMuffins@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I know I'm out of touch on this, but I just can't imagine someone introducing themselves in this way. Particularly if you're a cis male and your pronouns are he/him. I guess it depends on context.

[–] ricecake@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago

Yeah, it's definitely still something new. It's not something I would typically do in 99% of face to face encounters. In work presentations in front of a large audience we typically just fill it in on the introduction card at the start.

It's only a tactic for the edge case where someone presents ambiguously, in which case they're probably perfectly used to it as a way to politely ask. And yeah, it's a little awkward, but no more so that any other "polite chat with a new person" banter.
You can usually tell what pronouns to use via normal social awareness, and when in doubt, sharing yours is a polite way to prompt others to share theirs.