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The urge to come out is becoming unbarable (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Gush@lemmy.ml to c/lgbtq_plus@beehaw.org

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Hello, it's what the title says. I feel like this can't go on like this, i don't have real friends and that's purely because of me not feeling like showing who i really am in front of others. I'm surrounded by people whom I wouldn't want to even talk to, because they are bigoted or merely ignorant. Instead, I think that by coming out I can get more chances to meet new people with whom I could feel comfortable talking to about my passions and ideas without being afraid to reveal my sexuality. This could also be a way to sort through the people i know around me and understand which one deserves sticking with me and which not. But this could be a bit dangerous, not to the level of risking being beaten up (maybe) but there is the risk of being marginalized by those around me, but then again if this could help me find real friends then maybe it's kinda worth it. What do you think about this? Has it ever happened to you that you wanted to come out but were afraid of the consequences?

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[–] Gush@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I live in a country where luckily disowning your child and leaving them without a house just because they're queer is not part of the culture, and i know my parents would be ok with my sexuality

[–] sculd@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh! That is great news! Then you should seriously consider talking to your parents first, and then go from there.

Having family support is really important. After that, consider slowly talking to close friends who would be okay with your sexuality to build a support network for yourself.

[–] Gush@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If i have to go safe, there is only one person in my class that could be cool with that... i can't be sure about the rest. Doesn't seem like a big support network... maybe that's a start?

[–] sculd@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That would be a great start!

I understand the urge to just come out to everyone but its important to ensure you get the support you need.

When I came out I did it in private setting, one by one, so I can get their individual reaction and intention. Lost a few "friends" but also found surprising allies. Made by life much easier after that.

[–] Gush@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 year ago

Man sometimes i think i was born too early, i wish i was in an era where queer people could just live normally without these concerns. Thank you for the advices, much appreciated