this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2023
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I recently moved to the USA, from the middle east. My English is pretty good, and I don't have a lot of trouble communicating with people at work or in stores. I also don't know anyone here at all, outside of work. All my family is still back in Gaza, and I've been here over a year now, and still feel cut off from American people and culture.

How do you make friends and socialize here? How do I learn more about America and Americans culture? I know a bit about history, but not much about anything else.
I don't drink or go to bars, for religious reasons. I have joined a couple of clubs based on hobbies, but still feel disconnected. I'm not sure how you socialize or meet new people here, in my family everyone came around your house all the times of the day, and here it seems like neighbors just stick to themselves. I don't want to bug people or anoy them if that is not the customs here.

Also, what are your favorite parts of American culture and history? So far I have enjoyed Nascar and monster trucks very much, and studying mathematics.

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[–] burgersc12@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I didn't choose to be born in the US. Just because other countries have it worse doesn't mean we can't complain about how the corporations of this society are systematically strangling the paycheck to paycheck workers that essentially run this country. They keep us divided, angry at each other and focused on minor issues instead of working to help the starving/mistreated in the US

[–] sparky_gnome@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm not saying you are evil or uncaring. You just don't have and sense of how rich you are, and how much closer you are to billionaires that you think. Yes, money wise you don't have a billion dollars, I know. But most lower middle class people in the US would be considered top 2 percent in areas with actual poverty. Even in the phase paycheck to paycheck, it's implied that you know your paycheck will be enough to buy some very basic food and shelter, and that there is basic food and shelter to buy at all.

Think about a city of millions of people, where the vast majority of them live like your homeless people do, in makeshift shelters and harsh weather. Not sure if the city block they live on will be there when they get back at night, or if the tiny amount of money they earn will hod any value to a farmer, of if the farmer will even have any food. Then picture a handful of American houses there, and ask if they are "middle class". I know things could be better for you, but things could be better for billionaires too, And I bet you laugh at them if they complain their private jet is to small.

[–] burgersc12@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Ok and? Should i not say that the US is designed to isolate people and is not the land of the "American Dream" that you clearly wanted it to be? How do these ~~opinions~~ experiences of yours change the point i am making?

[–] sparky_gnome@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You are saying that all the evil and exploitation in America comes from the rich. My friend, by the standards of the world in general, you are the rich. What are doing to help the poor, and why do you expect the few richer than you to care more about you, than you care about my family in Gaza? Do you not think that your " rich overlords" say" yes and, so what" to your issues?

You want to fix America? I see two lessons from my life. "Eat the rich", as you say, but not as a online joke or a metaphor. Messy and unstable, but if you survive you can be as rich as you want.

Or, you can use the wealth you have to build something better. Why do you play the game of isolation if you hate it? Are you the only one feeling isolated within an hour of you? Do you truly think that everything you buy is the minimum, or that the luxury you have is worth nothing?

[–] bastion@feddit.nl 2 points 1 year ago

This is one of the main points that is lost in American culture. Face fears. Take your life into your own hands, rather than talking about taking the lives of the people you deem to be the source of your problems.

You may not be to blame for your situation, but you are the one responsible for it.

Face fears. Find friends. Don't Blake the rich, you are the rich. Live sustainably with what you have.

You've got the right idea, friend.

[–] burgersc12@sh.itjust.works 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Ok so 8 people control half the world's wealth right, lets not act like this has no effect on our lives. If I am unable to help myself, how am i supposed to help someone else? Why do you act like i do not realize i am rich compared to others, when did i say that i was poor? I was born halfway up the ladder, am I not allowed to complain the ladder exists just because I am not the one at the bottom?

[–] sparky_gnome@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I didn't say you were the sole problem. The problem is rich people, including you, not realizing that ( even if you only care about yourself, as you seem to), you should be helping others.

Good job not being one of the richest 8 people in the world. Yes, those people are not nice, and don't want to help you. Now go help your neighbors and make friends with them. You also seem to have no scale on the problems that actual poverty causes, or how much rich people spend on their useless luxuries, and how much good that could do in the world.

You could go on about how disconnected you feel from everyone, and how it's all those 8 evil people's fault, and then try to fill that void with consumerism and giving them more money. Or you could cut you luxury in half, and donate it to a good cause. If you are not going to appreciate American wealth, then let someone else eat your scraps.

But no, what you really want is for it to all be someone else's fault, and to do nothing about it. Your weekly paycheck is a poor person's yearly wage, and that ignores slavery and the many other atrocities of this world. Yes, wealthy people who hoard their power for themselves are a problem. Yes, having even more wealth is even more of a problem, but if you are not going to help people below you up, then at least be aware that you issues are as laughable to us as billionaires issues are to you.

[–] burgersc12@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

My issues? This whole post is about your perceived issue about how americans do not socialize, somehow you took my analogy for Fox News stirring up drama and twisted my words to make it seem as if I am blaming every problem in my life on rich people.

[–] bastion@feddit.nl 0 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] burgersc12@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

He acts like i live a life of luxury, but ignores the fact I was forced into it. I do try to live reasonably. If I could I would love to give half my paycheck to those in need, but how do I pay bills if I do that? I need to eat, I am forced to drive to work, so i need a car, if I could afford a house I'd have to pay for that, student loans because I am dumb. I have no money left at this point, so how do you propose I help others?

Its a systemic problem and it is foolish to ignore the biggest problem we have been facing since the mid 1800s, which is corporations guiding the direction of this nation and the world as a whole.

[–] bastion@feddit.nl 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It is, indeed, a systemic issue, and no, you shouldn't ignore it. He's not saying you should, and neither am I.

However, it's a systemic issue that's in your own mind and behaviors, as well.

Learning how to live well, sustainably, be happy with what you have, and utilize your own power well is how you change the whole. That's not saying 'pretend the suffering doesn't exist and think positively'. It's saying that facing the feelings that have been induced in you, and learnjng how to stop being on tilt and start living your own life is how you make effective systemic change - or at the very least, effective personal change.

[–] burgersc12@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Maybe its in your mind and behavior

[–] bastion@feddit.nl 2 points 1 year ago

Yep, sure is. You'd be hard-pressed to find anyone in the world who hasn't been mind-fucked or heart-fucked by capitalism or communism, or their roots ('enlightened self-interest' and socialism).

But, though it's in my mind and heart, so are the insights I've come to about its existence, and about people, love, and power.

So, you can do as you like, of course. I'll be continuing to grow, and continuing to learn how to back my power with love, amd my love with power.