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We now know how cats purr—why they purr is still up for debate
(arstechnica.com)
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Cats, like most animals and indeed people, exhibit a variety of personalities and behaviors. Dismissing them all as "assholes" is like stereotypng people based on race, gender, ethnicity, etc. It's a weak argument. Combined with your "that's not up for debate" makes me wonder if you are just trolling us.
Just seeing who responds with the most passionate cat rant and blocking them.... you win !