this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2023
164 points (86.0% liked)

No Stupid Questions

35791 readers
1375 users here now

No such thing. Ask away!

!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules (interactive)


Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.

All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.



Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.

Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.



Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.

Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.



Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.

That's it.



Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.

Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.



Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.

Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.

On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.

If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.



Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.

If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.

Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.



Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.



Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.

Let everyone have their own content.



Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here.



Credits

Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!

The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

Something I've always wondered is what kind of women were in the lives of incel men when they were young. Did they have a bad relationship with their mother? Did they lack sisters or other female family members? Or is their family situation irrelevant? Maybe some particular situation in their early years caused them to develop a complex around women?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] bouh@lemmy.world -3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Maybe some people want romantic relationships.

Women fought to have the lives of men: a public, non romantic life, and that's an excellent thing.

Many men today want romantic relationships. How is this a bad thing? What kind of monster are you to say that a man should suck it up and forget any idea of intimacy or romantic relationship with a woman?

This is exactly the reason why these people turn incels or machists. And you're not worth more than them.

I don't blame feminism. I don't blame the left. I point at their shortcomings. You can't build a world of equality of you don't include men.

The future is together.

[–] Chetzemoka@startrek.website 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Please point to exactly where I said that. It's fine to want a romantic relationship. But if anyone - man or woman or anything in between - defines their entire self-worth on that one single thing, then they're going to have a very bad time in life. Relationships end. People die. If the only thing you can see yourself as is the partner to another person and you lose (or can't get) that other person, then you're lost.

Work on being whole yourself and defining your value to and for your own self. Work, art, skilled hobbies, charity, friends, family. All of these things can provide value to your community. Find self worth outside of romantic relationships is the best advice for anyone in the world, even people who are currently in romantic relationships.

[–] thenightisdark@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

What you call lost is the very definition of human.

Looking for a relationship is not lost it is the most human thing to do.

What is more human than finding another human to procreate with?

Everything else you mention all valuable is secondary to social. The cruelest thing you can do to a human is to put them in solitary confinement.

[–] Chetzemoka@startrek.website 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Bro, you are going to have a difficult life, if you think of existing in your community as solitary confinement. I'd advise you to go get involved in something. Go find a maker space to volunteer at, volunteer at the library, talk to your neighbors, join some kind of outdoor activity group.

You can do all of this while ALSO trying to date. You can (and should) do this kind of stuff even after you get married. You can't just sit around feeling bitter and expect a relationship to solve that for you. That right there is a perfect recipe for a relationship that will fail. You have to be your own person even when you're in a relationship.

There's more to "being social" than just finding a person to have sex with you and calling it a day.

[–] thenightisdark@lemmy.world -1 points 1 year ago

"existing in your community as solitary confinement." -- Chetzemoka

What a strange take. Isn't this a contradiction? Anyways I just want to point out that this is.... A wrong take. Very strange and very wrong take.

Just know that being social is being human. You seem to forget that at times.

[–] optissima@possumpat.io 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Read some feminist theory then.

[–] bouh@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago

Or maybe try to understand the people around you instead of diabolizing them.