this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2023
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‘The Onion’ Stands With Israel Because It Seems Like You Get In Less Trouble For That (www.theonion.com)
submitted 1 year ago by Kata1yst@kbin.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
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The past week has shown humanity at its worst: A horrific terrorist attack left at least 1,300 Israelis dead, among them peace activists and even innocent children. The fates of many more kidnapped civilians still lie in the balance. Meanwhile, statements from Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu suggest retaliation…

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[–] PrincessLeiasCat@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago

“Our stance becomes increasingly compelling when one considers some alternative scenarios. For instance, The Onion could theoretically say that it stands in solidarity with the bombing victims in Gaza. What would happen then? People would get mad at us. They could threaten our careers. How about if we said we believe the loss of innocent life is wrong no matter what the nationality? That would also result in people getting mad at us. Sometimes these would be different people getting mad, but that doesn’t really change things on our end. And most significantly, it could hurt our quarterly revenue, which is the worst tragedy imaginable.

For those reasons, and many more, we are not going to be endorsing any of those perspectives. Instead, the stance of standing unwaveringly with Israel, now and forever, seems to really be the sweet spot for those looking to avoid dealing with all of this shit.”

Holy fuck this is brilliant…