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"I don't think the Lord Jesus himself could manage this group," said Rep. Troy Nehls, R-Texas.
I think it's presumptuous to assume that Lord Jesus wants anything to do with them.
It's really just common sense that the Jesus in the Bible would never run as a Republican. And if he did, he'd never get elected because the Republican base think he's too liberal and weak.
For real. I can't name a group more gleefully sinful and un-Christ-like than the modern GOP.
I'm Jewish and, as such, not an expert on Jesus. Still, from what I know of him, Biblical Jesus was a fan of free healthcare (he healed the sick without charging them), feeding the hungry, and hanging out with the poor/not the rich.
If Biblical Jesus were to appear right now, he'd be regarded as a socialist. A brown skinned, Jewish, immigrant socialist to boot. Definitely, not the Republicans' favorite combination.The only reason he'd walk into a Republican conference would be to flip some tables over.
They would definitely be asking about his birth certificate
This is one of the secretly most interesting things in the entire New Testament.
You are correct, that unanimously in Mark, Matthew, and Luke the apostles are instructed to go out and heal the sick and spread the gospel without carrying a purse. This necessarily would have made monetary collections impossible, and instead they were told they could accept meals and shelter.
But then at the last supper in Luke, Jesus is like "Hey guys, remember when I said you can't carry a purse? Well let's 180° that, and now do carry purses."
The thing is, this part of Luke isn't present in Marcion's version, which was likely one of the earliest surviving versions of the text.
So you go from Mark, the earliest Synoptic, where the instruction was not to collect money for acting in a religious capacity, to the other two gospels which copy from Mark on this point, and then sometime later on an editor's hand reverses an instruction supposedly direct from Jesus that was cramping their fundraising efforts.
And that version is what's in the Bible promoted by the organization which built the Vatican and literally even sold salvation directly during the middle ages.
So technically for literalists the Bible's Jesus at face value directs the opposite of what you said shortly before death, but even a modicum of critical thinking reveals some shifty shit on exactly the point you raise.
Somalian pirates are the only thing that comes to mind.
I mean when there's nothing to live for in a country so fucked, can you blame them?
Unlike the GOP, they have options.
"Are you saying Jesus Christ can't hit a curve ball?!"