this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2023
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I graduated with a bachelors in computer science around 4 years ago. Long story short, I was depressed, dysphoric, and suicidal throughout my college years and by the time I finished I didn’t want to do anything. I’ve been unemployed for the last 4 years but I’ve also transitioned, started taking better care of myself, and overall I feel much better.

Anyways, I need to get a job now. What kind of lies can I get away with on my resume to cover up the long period of unemployment? Should I pretend I started some sort of company and it failed? Pretend like I went on some backpacking journey in a foreign country? Do companies even check all this stuff?

I did do an internship at a big tech company several years ago, and I’m working on personal software projects so I can put that on my resume. Also, I’m in Amerikkka.

Sorry if this question has been asked here before obama-sad

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[–] roux@hexbear.net 50 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

These responses and question make me think I don't get jobs because I'm honest. What a fucking world lol. I'm putting "shit at lying on my resume" on my resume.

[–] RedStarOS@hexbear.net 49 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

There’s a video from Yugopnik about surviving capitalism, and one of his words of advice is to lie on your resume, because everyone does it.

But also I’m neurodivergent as fuck and I get anxious lying about anything

[–] GarfieldYaoi@hexbear.net 20 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

Dude, fucking same. One tip from above I want to do is repeat your lie ad nauseum so you begin to believe your lies.

I swore to return to college and finish my CS degree but I'm going to pepper my github with a LOT of projects that I "made" by just copying youtube lol. That, and I have a cousin and an old acquaintance that work at Microsoft so when I do that I'll be a nepo hir...I mean, "network" for the job and make sure to exaggerate a little on my resume. Add an extra year to your old job, throw in a random job duty. It's not your fault porky is too picky to hire people these days.

[–] RedStarOS@hexbear.net 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Nothing wrong with using nepotism. The capitalists themselves aren’t “self-made”

[–] MechanicalJester@lemm.ee 3 points 11 months ago

Lie if you like. Don't lie about things you could be asked to do. Like if you say that you were in charge of doing a thing, as interviewer I may well test that.

As interviewer I don't or shouldn't give a shit about your history except to try to predict your future. If lying gets you past HR to get looked by the hiring manager, AND the hiring manager thinks you're a reasonable candidate for the role listed, then that is a win.

Good luck!

[–] Hohsia@hexbear.net 4 points 11 months ago

Self-aware nepotism is the best nepotism

[–] roux@hexbear.net 8 points 11 months ago

Fellow ND, it's almost impossible for me to pull off a lie.:/

[–] hexaflexagonbear@hexbear.net 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I feel guilty putting on interesting projects I worked on that didn't pan out on my resume. If I lied I feel like I'd actually have nightmares.

[–] roux@hexbear.net 11 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Tbf I'm not even getting any hits for mobile app dev jobs and I have 2 published apps. Can't even be truthful and get any snags.

My passion is IT, and I've had a few interviews but they all fizzled out. It's end of the year so I'm gonna hybernate until January and start hitting it hard again. Maybe I'll look up a few videos on how to lie effectively or something.