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submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by FumpyAer@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net

CW: I will discuss body dismorphia, or the (seeming) lack thereof I feel when thinking what it would be like to have been assigned the wrong gender. Also I describe sexual roles and thinking about having different anatomy.

Ok, so I've previously read Trans Liberation by Leslie Feinberg and I care about gender insofar as it takes to ensure all gender nonconforming people get healthcare, feel safe in public life, etc. I also will/have changed my language as much as it takes to make my trans comrades feel comfortable. With that out of the way:

I am a cis male, and I guess I am mostly okay with the body I've been given. I prefer to be called him, but I would only be a little annoyed if someone used she/her or they/them to describe me. If I try to imagine my body with a vagina and developing breasts in puberty with my current state of mind, I don't feel very much discomfort. I don't feel particularly attached to the role of penetrating another partner as a gay guy who enjoys bottoming more than topping. If I was forced to wear dresses to church growing up, I don't imagine I would be very distressed.

I do value the relative ease of building muscle that comes with having a male hormonal profile, and I guess dealing with having a female hormonal profile could be alarming, but mostly because it's not what I'm used to. But before puberty, I also wasn't used to having a bunch of testosterone.

On some level, I understand that it can be traumatic to be the target of violence and hate speech, or to be denied medical care. I'm speaking from a position of relative privilege.

Does this mean I'm possibly non-binary? Or something else? I feel content to be assumed as male, but I don't feel that strongly about it. And the title question again, does anybody else who is cisgender or otherwise just not have strong feelings about their own gender?

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[-] CrushKillDestroySwag@hexbear.net 8 points 11 months ago

Definitely yes. I like the term "gender ambivalent" to describe this feeling, but I would hardly class someone whose identity is "conforming to what society assigns me because it's easy" as an lgbt identity.

As to whether it's an NB thing, I would ask: do you ever feel female, or do you feel equally ambivalent about the prospect of being female as your current fate of being male?

this post was submitted on 09 Dec 2023
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