this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2023
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ADHD
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It's very common among autistic people and neurodivergent people in general, it's called executive dysfunction. Essentially your brain has trouble both making and initiating plans. Every time I brush my teeth I have to remember to do it (this is not automatic, all my toothbrush stuff is set up as a visual cue any time I'm near the sink), focus on my task as I go to the bathroom so I don't forget why I went there, remember to take my medicine first so that I don't have to swallow them after brushing my teeth, floss, and brush.
The last two parts sound very simple (and they are, which is why this is so frustrating for many people), but sometimes I will stand in front of the bathroom sink for 5 or 10 minutes, knowing I need to brush my teeth, WANTING to brush my teeth, but it's like whatever 'go juice' neurotypical people have a limitless supply of is just limited for me. Finally after standing there and psyching myself up I can do it, but it does take legitimate effort to initiate the process even if I follow through on all the parts smoothly. I couldn't tell you exactly why this happens even though I can obviously recognize that it is happening, I kind of suspect it has to do with wonky sensory integration problems (common in ADHD and autistic people).
HOW ARE YOU IN MY BRAIN
How are YOU in my brain?!?
I hate that feeling of knowing I need to do something and wanting to start, but actually doing it is like my body and mind are weighed down by concrete.
I thought this was normal tbh. My word..
Ah, that sounds familiar. I don't actively psyche myself up, but I'll distract myself and procrastinate on it for like half an hour. Which always feels silly, when that task only takes ten minutes or so.
I can't even do that. If I leave my toothbrush in the same place, it becomes part of the background and I don't really notice it.
Brains are weird.
LOL! If I don't put my toothbrush in exactly the same place every time I'll forget where it is. I always imagined that regular folks just remember the entire bathroom sink region as "where it is" but that's far too ambiguous for my brain.
If my wife cleans the bathroom and relocates my cool custom 3D printed toothbrush holder it always throws me off...
"OK it's not where I left it. Let's start the search..."
"Oh! It's right there... It was within my vision this entire time. Moving it back to the other side of the sink now..."
It’s like sleep paralysis in a way - you are aware you need to do something (move / brush teeth), you want to do something or something bad’ll happen (panic / dirty teeth), you keep telling yourself to do it in your head (can’t breathe / disappoint everyone), but you just can’t make your body move.
That's so interesting to see thus written out like this because you have described in words, what I experience on some level. Of course all of this neurodivergence we're speaking on exists on a kind of gradient, so none of our experiences are going to be 1:1, but this is fascinating because it is definitely close enough. For ex: I don't have my toothbrush out in plain sight as my SO likes to keep things neat, and we've been together so long I don't remember if it has always been that way, but I do know in the past I didn't brush a lot because I would forget and get to bed and not have the wherewithal to make myself get back up and do it, and also I am terrible and remembering to take scheduled medicines like antibiotics and allergy medicine, but if I put it in the same place with my toothbrush I can trick myself into remembering both.