The Onion

4470 readers

1484 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

seahorse@midwest.social

pbrisgreat@midwest.social

762

Warren "all you can eat" Buffet (midwest.social)

submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social

62 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] TheGreenGolem@lemmy.dbzer0.com 43 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Then they dare to go buy some fucking avocado toast and a mokke lattchiato or whatever the hell, on their fucking bikes with THEIR FUCKING HELMET ON!

[–] bdonvr@thelemmy.club 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Don't buy avacado toast, make it.

Shits cheap af

[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I don't get all the love for avacado. It tastes like mild plant butter to me. I save a lot of money by never buying it haha.

[–] NostraDavid@programming.dev 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You have to throw some salt and pepper on it. Otherwise it's very bland. Kinda like an egg.

[–] KevonLooney@lemm.ee 1 points 9 months ago

You need better eggs.

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Dude literally just find more dead squirrels for avocado toast money, it's that simple

[–] theneverfox@pawb.social 3 points 9 months ago

No, you don't understand the problem with avocado toast. You see, bread is a great source of carbs, and combined with the rind of the avocado, the scraps are a super food that leaves squirrels full of energy and with a thick coat that makes them neigh immortal

When's the last time you saw a dead squirrel ripe for the picking? It was free money