762
submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] epyon22@programming.dev 55 points 8 months ago

Average net worth for 35-44 year olds $135 thousand his net worth $119.2 billion. $5 equivalent for him is ~$4,414,814.81

[-] Dagrothus@reddthat.com 55 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

If you skinned and sold squirrels at a rate of 7.56 squirrels per second, you'd reach his wealth in just 100 years! All it takes is a little hard work!

They'd also go extinct after 1 year. Maybe switch to rats.

[-] seth@lemmy.world 18 points 8 months ago

taking notes How long will the rats last if I maintain that rate?

[-] goferking0@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 8 months ago

Probably gone even faster as wouldn't you need a lot more rats to equal what you could get from a squirrel?

[-] shiveyarbles@beehaw.org 4 points 8 months ago

You could alternate between rats and squirrels to allow repopulation

[-] mctoasterson@reddthat.com 1 points 8 months ago

Even if you don't end up rich, eradicating squirrels is a pretty good consolation prize.

[-] Anticorp@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

Rats don't have bushy tails, so you'd lose most of the value.

[-] epyon22@programming.dev 20 points 8 months ago

He can buy a super car with less impact on his net worth than you standing there wondering what to get out of the vending machine

[-] Anticorp@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

Where did you find that average net worth for 35-44 year olds? That seems much higher than I expected. What's the median?

[-] epyon22@programming.dev 1 points 8 months ago
[-] Anticorp@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

Oh, you actually shared the median. The average is $1.06 million. I guess I know some broke-ass people, and am one myself. Almost everyone I know is well below those numbers.

[-] Holyginz@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

Outliers are undoubtedly massively skewing the average.

this post was submitted on 19 Jan 2024
762 points (97.9% liked)

The Onion

4258 readers
845 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS