I have an arch laptop for work. Out of the box, wifi worked because I needed it for the installation. I never print, strongSwan worked as easy as on windows. Arch minimal does require you to tinker for it to look nice. You are right about that. But honestly theres a package for everything and pacman is easy to use. The biggest issue I had was getting geek fonts or whatever to display in my polybar. Audio worked out of the box.

Edit: and I guess I am being a little untruthful. The regular arch install is easier than windows. I chose minimal because in my opinion vanilla kde is an eyesore and I wanted i3 as a window manager and no desktop at all. But it took me 20 minutes maybe to look up some packages to start with, type them in the given line and I was off. I was ricing for a whole week after. But it was entirely functional without looking pretty.

Everything you listed would be solved if Linux was as mainstream as Windows.

For me, I don't use Nvidia, WiFi works, old HP printer works, just need to install a package, a 1-year old Canon printer works out of the box on Ubuntu, but on Arch I need to extract the stuff from the driver .deb and place into the it into the right directories. Audio and microphone works flawlessly. This is the case on ASUS ZenBook, an underpowered ASUS Vivobook or something and a 2012 iMac, though on that one I need a modification to /etc/default/grub to be able to control the brightness.

I have never had to worry about wifi drivers, and my microphone has always worked out of the box with my computer.

Proprietary nvidia drivers are a bit trickier, but mostly painless.

Printers work flawlessly for me, I have a modern cheap hp printer, so I had low expectations, but my laptop running mint can print and scan with the built in applications.