this post was submitted on 21 Feb 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 109 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Gorilla might come at you because fuck you. Mamba is scared shitless of you.

[–] CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 103 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, just stay out in the open away from places a snake might hide so that you don't accidentally scare one, and the Mambas should be fine.

[–] BigMoe@lemmy.zip 46 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Yeah my son has gotten really into snakes. They reallly just want you to leave them alone. Good thing too since they can move at 12 mph

[–] prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 55 points 10 months ago (1 children)

12mph is coincidentally the speed my bowels would empty if I saw a black mamba coming at me at that speed.

[–] Tangent5280@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

Amateur, I can make my bowels empty faster than 12 mph in recreational settings.

[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 39 points 10 months ago (1 children)

There are hidden hallways behind the shops, if you can get back there the gorilla won't ever find you. Hell go to the elevator or a bathroom and just chill for a day.

[–] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 31 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Gorillas are some sneaky motherfuckers. That's the first place they'll hide waiting for you.

[–] thesporkeffect@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago

A gorilla is just five five drop bears in a fucking trench coat and you can't prove me wrong.

[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Stop at the CinnaBon first then. Throw a roll and run away.

[–] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago
[–] Cheems@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

That's terrible! You just don't mess with a person's sweetroll...

[–] QuantumStorm@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

They may be, but it's still terrifying to find out one was sleeping in your bed springs after you found one on your windowsill the night before.

[–] fishbone@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

I feel like the same is true of a gorilla though.