Microblog Memes

Digging into Neelix’s history, however, his fellow administrators couldn’t believe what they found. He hadn’t just created a handful of redirects, as the original report described; he’d quietly created thousands upon thousands of new redirects, each one a chaotic, if not offensive, permutation of the word “tits” and “boobs.” For example, he created redirects for “tittypumper,” “tittypumpers,” “tit pump,” “pump titties,” “pumping boobies” and hundreds more for “breast pump.” In fact, for seemingly every Wikipedia article related to breasts, he did something similar. …

But the deeper the administrators looked into Neelix’s history, the more inexplicable redirects they found. “If [Neelix] thinks links like ‘titty constructor,’ ‘boobie builder’ and a dozen variations [should redirect to] ‘breast reconstruction’ and ‘tiny titties’ with many variations [redirect to] ‘micromastia,’” scolded administrator Jbhunley, “I strongly suggest they do not have the maturity and judgement we expect in [our] administrators.”

… “Who the fuck is going to search ‘suckling of the titties’ instead of ‘breastfeeding’?”

“I especially don’t see the value of creating pages with titles like ‘titty banged,’ ‘frenchfucking,’ ‘licks boobs,’ ‘boobyfeeding,’ ‘a trip down mammary lane’ and so on. Wikipedia is not censored, but we’re also not Urban Dictionary,” added Ivanvector. …

Finally, after six days of exhausting deliberations, Neelix reappeared on November 11th, and volunteered to step down as an administrator and retire from Wikipedia completely.

The Trial of 80,000 Titties was over. Still, it would take administrators nearly three years to undo the damage Neelix had wrought. Recalling “such timeless classics as ‘booby surgeons,’ ‘titty waist hip measurement,’ ‘milks boobies’ and ‘titty physics,’” one Wikipedian concluded, “thank God he apparently never heard the term ‘jugs’ or ‘rack’ or other similar slang or this would have been many times worse.”

Fantastic