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Would you work in a workplace in which someone you are attracted to also works if you were in a relationship? (lemmygrad.ml)

submitted 8 months ago by AdmiralDoohickey@lemmygrad.ml to c/comradeship@lemmygrad.ml

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I am in the interview process for a job in a research group and it is going well so far. The only issue is that I was attracted to the person that interviewed me and I am going to be working with if I get hired.

My girlfriend is the most important person in the world for me so I don't want to risk catching feelings for someone else, but I also need to find a job if I am to rent a place to finally live with her.

What would you do in my case? Would you stop the interview process and try to find a job elsewhere or would you go for it and trust that you would do the right thing?

This question might sound deranged to you, but I have the full autism/ADHD/OCD combo so I am very out of touch with how the average person thinks.

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[–] Idliketothinkimsmart@lemmygrad.ml 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Do you trust yourself to conduct yourself in an ethical manner if you did work there? If so, then I'd probably work there. If not then that is something you should probably consider. If it's the former, do not hang out with this coworker and keep things strictly professional.

[–] AdmiralDoohickey@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Do you trust yourself to conduct yourself in an ethical manner if you did work there?

I do not. Not because I have actually done something bad, but I probably am a bit more impulsive than the average person due to ADHD, and I also have the anxious attatchment style in the context of the relationship, so I don't want to be in a situation where I could act out or something. Also I believe in avoiding temptation in contrast to resisting temptation, so it makes sense to me. Of course you can't always avoid having to interact with an attractive person, but it seems to me like it's another thing when you go into such a situation knowingly.

[–] M500@lemmy.ml 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I think if you are having issues around self control and cheating, then maybe your girlfriend isn’t the one for you. Maybe it’s a sign that there is someone else for you.

[–] AdmiralDoohickey@lemmygrad.ml 4 points 8 months ago (2 children)

think if you are having issues around self control and cheating, then maybe your girlfriend isn’t the one for you. Maybe it’s a sign that there is someone else

I never said I have cheated or even come close to. I have self control issues in other areas such as binge eating when stressed but that's it

[–] relay@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 8 months ago

Eating vs planning something with someone other than your partner are 2 different levels of impulse control. It takes a bit more work to cheat.

[–] blakeus12@hexbear.net 4 points 8 months ago

just keep your feelings to yourself and be professional