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Would you work in a workplace in which someone you are attracted to also works if you were in a relationship? (lemmygrad.ml)

submitted 8 months ago by AdmiralDoohickey@lemmygrad.ml to c/comradeship@lemmygrad.ml

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I am in the interview process for a job in a research group and it is going well so far. The only issue is that I was attracted to the person that interviewed me and I am going to be working with if I get hired.

My girlfriend is the most important person in the world for me so I don't want to risk catching feelings for someone else, but I also need to find a job if I am to rent a place to finally live with her.

What would you do in my case? Would you stop the interview process and try to find a job elsewhere or would you go for it and trust that you would do the right thing?

This question might sound deranged to you, but I have the full autism/ADHD/OCD combo so I am very out of touch with how the average person thinks.

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[–] angrytoadnoises@lemmygrad.ml 13 points 8 months ago (1 children)

At the end of the day, you're in control of your actions. You can catch feelings with as many people as you'd like but the only thing that really matters is which one of them you've put in the work with, and who you're willing to do the hard work of building a relationship with.

If your girlfriend is the most important person in the world to you, you don't have anything else to worry about. I wouldn't pass up a job I was excited for over something like this.

On the inverse - are you maybe having these thoughts because you're not as secure in your relationship as you should be? It's something to consider. You might find that you have repressed feelings that are unresolved, or you might become even more confident in your current relationship.

[–] AdmiralDoohickey@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 8 months ago

It's true that I am not secure, I get a lot of anxiety if I haven't seen her (not communicated) for some days, and I am a bit of an attention seeker. And that's something I have to resolve, but it also scares me because people with the same traits as me (maybe magnified) do cheat