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Really not meaning to call out anybody, I haven't encountered this much here on lemmy, but you often find those sort of attitudes with unpaid "jobs" online. Mods everywhere, wiki editors (incredibly territorial and clique-ish), etc.
There has to be the right mixture of passion, desire for control, and most importantly the free time to put into it. Also have to toss in the strong belief in your own idea of how the space you oversee should be. The free time part often leads to people without much better to do with their time/lives taking up the reins.
If the team is able to develop tools to reduce the time expenditure, or the userbase is small enough that things don't tend to get overwhelming (almost all of lemmy), you don't see it. But yeah, the big reddit subs, especially now with the third party API ban killing the overwhelming amount of available mod tools... it's a real tempest in a teacup over there.
Again, most lemmy mods are great, with only a few notable exceptions. Thankfully it's astoundingly easy to block users and communites on the fediverse, and usually you can find the same community topic on another instance and not miss out on much. Love this place.
One of the worst things about Reddit is that you have some subs that are basically "too big to fail." You have THE sub for a specific topic. Unless it's really a niche topic with a small community to begin with, this is not a good thing.
If the sub has bad mods, you're out of luck. Or you have a bad knock-off sub that gets like 1% of the traffic.