this post was submitted on 26 Mar 2024
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Now just wait a damn minute here, is everything just called a biscuit outside of the US? Cookies are biscuits and now crackers are also biscuits? How do y'all distinguish things‽ "I'd like a biscuit" must be this dangerous game of roulette where you might get a delicious chocolate chip cookie or you might get a dry ass saltines or little teeny oyster crackers or God knows what else.
Y'all need new words for shit
What I need to know is what do they call biscuits?
Biscuits.
Nothing that goes near gravy
Scones.
Not because scones are the same thing but because they don't know what American biscuits are and they think they look like scones.
If you think biscuit is bad... you should try pan.
I've tried explaining the various English denominations of various bread items to Spanish speaking people and it's just not easy. Roll, bun, loaf, baguette, brioche, pita, ciabatta, soda bread, brown bread, rye... it's all just pan.
That's just sad. I need my million words for breads because I enjoy having different breads! How will I properly tell the baker what I want??
deacribe the bread
Bready
Warm, soft, moist, and yeasty. It is soft and pillowy, with a chewy, crusty crust with just enough salt and butter
Sounds like pan.
This is what annoys me about this argument.
Im making a soup and want to thicken it "do we have any bread?" Damn near any bread (even tortillas, which are by definition bread) will do the job. If I want to make a sandwich then the difference is important.
Sometimes its important sometimes it isnt but fuck me if Americans seem to think that we dont know what a cookie or a cracker is, like I'm utterly incapable of using a more direct descriptor to get what I want.
Crackers are biscuits, and so are biscuits. Cookies are cookies. Unless you're a Brit, then everything seems to be a biscuit or a cake. Some biscuits seem to be cakes, and some cookies also seem to be cakes. Most cakes are cakes.
This said I'm not British and I'm talking out of my shitpost.
If there's a question about whether it's a biscuit or a cake, leave it out for a few days, if it gets softer it's a biscuit, if it gets harder it's a cake, and if it gets covered in 'gravy' there's an American in your house.
Jaffa cakes are cakes then
Indeed they are, as adjudicated by the courts of the land. I like the reporting here, especially:
Brit here most things are biscuits except some that are cookies e.g. chocolate chip cookies, crackers are crackers.
I hope that clears things up
I'm just trying to confuse the Americans. You blew my cover!
I thought y'all didn't have cookies? Like, I thought everything we called cookie you call biscuit?
Also, have you ever had an American style biscuit?
Tbh I don't know why we call some things cookies. I have heard people say cookies have the softer ce ter buy that doesnt track 100% from brand to brand.
On American biscuits nope I didn't know they were a thing rill a long time friend from the states who likes playing with these language quirks as much as I do
If you ever visit (probably don't, it's a hellhole) try biscuits and gravy. Preferably from someone's southern grandma or a gas station in rural Georgia. But if all else fails, Hardee's is acceptable for someone without something to compare it to.
The British courts and Proctor and Gamble arguing over wether Pringles are actually chips always makes me laugh.
https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/560995/are-pringles-potato-chips-britain-high-court
No. American is not correct by default.
Crackers are biscuits, cookies are also biscuits. A Toyota Camry is a car, a Dodge neon is also a car, its not that hard. If specificity is important you specify.
Wrong
We took a vote of native English speakers and it turns out we're right and the best