this post was submitted on 10 Apr 2024
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Well, you go at an angle, obviously. Just lay him down on a board and do it at a 30 degree angle through the whole thing. I get that it's medieval times and we don't have bandsaws yet, but the principle is the same and we did know how to cut long things in half.
Either way you can't cut a board standing straight on its short end, let alone a floppy pleb. That's just physics.
I mean, arguably you could just cut in the other direction altogether and you're gonna get the job done just as well. I'm not sure why these guys need a guy split in half specifically in that direction, unlesss they are trying to get some very particular decorations going. Which I guess at that point in time is entirely possible.
That'll work, but adding a board as a platen is just the first step towards the saw mill proposal. It'll be easier and far better than just sitting him down and going at the poor bastard's skull, and for simplicity and speed that's the way. But if we have the time and resources, I say we do the saw mill thing because at the end of that we have both two halves of a guy and a functioning saw mill.
For pedantry's sake, my shitty jigsaw says I can cut a board just about any way it's sitting. Granted it's dumb, but it's possible. Sorry, the Wellakshuly devil got to me there.
And yeah, I gave up on trying to glean some meaning from client requests. They want a guy bisected and they've got the florins, they're gonna get two halves of a guy. The mistake I see there is that they've obviously tried to save money by hiring a cowboy outfit to do a professional job