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Is any body able to provide some advice to help my friend through a bad patch? (discuss.tchncs.de)

submitted 7 months ago by dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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So I’m a bit of a degenerate but making better choices lately and sort of getting things on track.

My friend had some health issues and had to stop working, my other friend now does all the labour, and he just runs the business.

He then split with his partner who he has children, as frankly he would never be at home and it was always going to happen.

I just found out the health condition has gotten worse and he will have to lose a leg. He never improved his diet, kept hitting the coke hard and gambling. So recently he has gambled away £35,000 and had a breakdown with another friend.

How do I even be there for him and keep him on a good path, providing he is open to change.

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[–] motor_spirit@lemmy.world 1 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Provide him a bunch of self help resources and some candid conversation and encouragement. Change starts within and it's solely dependent on the person in question. You cannot champion somebody else's change, you can only really assist and cheer.

Tell the mother fucker to stop digging his hole, because life isn't full of miracles.

Change CAN be swift and efficient but that depends on a lot of factors and it sounds like your friend needs to sort out the home environment and bad habits first.

Try Atomic Habits or The Power of Habits as suggestions since they clearly still struggle with step 0.

Find a positive activity or hobby to do with your friend. Getting outside in nature is great for healing the mind and soul, and doing that with a friend is easier and potentially more enjoyable. Usually pretty cheap also.

Breathing exercises. Meditation.

Your friend has to find willpower and control, then start with that power towards the goal(s).