this post was submitted on 10 May 2024
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Looks at ballot.
"Is carbonite, like...an actual thing? Can I be frozen like Han Solo? I have a little bit of money saved up. Which stupid tech bro startup can do this for me?"
"Sorry, best I can do decomposing cryogenic plug of fluids"
wait so the bodies are frozen after the person has already died?
I thought the point was to get frozen while still alive so that you could be thawed out in the future and continue living. which, while still very stupid, is something I can wrap my head around as a concept.
am I just now learning that the whole thing is predicated on the wish that we will one day be able to reanimate dead people??
They ideal for most of them is absolutely that they can be frozen while still alive and unfrozen later. We are nowhere near that technology though so most fallback to the second hope. Yes, that is that when they're unfrozen in the future we can cure whatever it is that killed them. From what I've seen in documentaries, most of the people signing up know it's the world's furthest longshot, but they figure they're dead either way, why not take it? Worst that happens is they stay dead but hopefully science learned something from their body at least, best case is they wake up in the 24½th century and keep on truckin.
Also, considering that they need access to freeze things inside of you quickly enough, such as your brain, I think most subjects would prefer that they were dead first.
Let's ask Ted Williams's frozen head. What do you think, Ted?
Ted Williams's frozen head: ...
Thanks Ted
Turns out those rich fuckers currently being scraped off the sides of their cryochambers had the right exit strategy all along.
Alcor is generally considered your best cryonics bet right now. Not a great bet, but your best bet.
I don't have carbonite but for the right price I can pack you into a freezer filled with ice. That should do the trick.
Shut up and take my doge coins!