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Is any body able to provide some advice to help my friend through a bad patch? (discuss.tchncs.de)

submitted 7 months ago by dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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So I’m a bit of a degenerate but making better choices lately and sort of getting things on track.

My friend had some health issues and had to stop working, my other friend now does all the labour, and he just runs the business.

He then split with his partner who he has children, as frankly he would never be at home and it was always going to happen.

I just found out the health condition has gotten worse and he will have to lose a leg. He never improved his diet, kept hitting the coke hard and gambling. So recently he has gambled away £35,000 and had a breakdown with another friend.

How do I even be there for him and keep him on a good path, providing he is open to change.

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[–] pelletbucket@lemm.ee 5 points 7 months ago

until they're asking for genuine help (which starts with help getting clean), any attempt to help would be mostly enabling, i think. I would start distancing myself from this guy, just so I don't have to watch them kill themselves. but I would let them know what I was doing and why at the same time. myself and a group of friends (all in recovery ourselves) cut ties with a really close friend when he relapsed and refused to go to rehab. in our case, that was the final straw he needed to get help again, and now he's been sober for like 10 years. I can't guarantee it'll go well, he's clearly self-destructive, but I don't enjoy watching it