I've tried joining clubs or participating in events but even when I do manage to have successful conversations I can't manage to turn that into a friendship. Considering how the year just ended I'm not going to have a chance

I never minded being alone when I was younger but my loneliness is really starting to really affect me.

I've lost any internet in watching tv shows or movies or playing any games, I can't find the motivation to study and always feel tired.

I've also started to constantly fantasize about being in a romantic relationship and worry about if I'll be alone for the rest of my life despite the fact that I've never had any interests in relationships or even an IRL crush.

I also have a porn addiction that's growing worse and I'm worried about its long term effects on me.

I've also never had any online friends before which means I don't know where to start.

I really need help.

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[–] teamevil@lemmy.world 21 points 5 months ago

Yo, seriously you need to talk to a therapist to help you unpack all of that. You're 20, you've got time to grow and mature. Definitely look into taking some classes at a community college, lots of folks your age there.

Get a hobby too .. volunteer...

Good luck.

Also life changes a lot in the next few years. Like how you probably are significantly different than your 15 year old self.

As for the social thing...it's always intimidating until you start trying...are you going to goof up, absolutely, but you learn and grow. Also young adults are not a horrible as middle schoolers or highschool. Self confidence will help lots with that, but it's also a fake it until you make it thing too.