this post was submitted on 01 Jun 2024
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I'm going to suggest possibly irresponsible advice, but step 1 - you need to solve your depression and porn addiction, and ASAP. For that you could try therapy, and/or psilocybin or DMT... Not a heroic dose, but enough to get introspective from an altered POV. Therapy is the obvious long-term recommendation, but the psychedelic route may get you there faster, and you might learn a few things, such as your social obstructions or root causes.
Second, you need a close friend, at least one, preferably one who is also your desired romantic demographic. Maybe not someone who you'd normally "go for", but who you'd be happy spending time with - platonically, romantically, whatever it does not matter. The goal is to ground yourself with empathy for that person, and they for you too.
Opposite sex best friend is the absolute best move. Mine has saved me from so many dumb ideas and encouraged so many other dumb but good ideas and now will be the best wan at my wedding. 10/10 everyone should have an opposite sex bestie.
Edit: Same sex also works, sorry I'm tired and automatically thought of opposite sex. Either way this is solid advice.