this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2024
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askchapo

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39
Opening up (serious question) (hexbear.net)
submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by Comp4@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net
26 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

I'm not sure if I want to open myself up about "this". It's not because I feel vulnerable, but because some people might think less of me for it. In a way, it's showing someone a massive weak spot that could be used against me. So, while I'm writing this, it seems obvious to me that it is foolish. Yet still, I have a lingering urge to share some of these feelings.

Truthfully, I have never shared this with anyone. Not even in a therapy setting have I felt comfortable enough to do so. I did nothing illegal, so don't worry. Its also nothing sex related.

Hypothetical. Imagine I killed someone in self-defense. Even if people might be sympathetic, they would view me differently after I told them that. It would change my relationship with them. This is just an example for something that has the potential to greatly change the dynamic between people.

I DIDNT KILL SOMEONE.

Any input would be appreciated.

EDIT OK. I talked with someone about it. Feel a bit better. Probably wont disclose it on Hexbear but thanks for all the input.

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[–] Comp4@hexbear.net 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

I didn't mean to say I killed someone. I meant to say there is something that could impact my relationship with people. Like if I were the great-grandchild of Heinrich Himmler. I'm NOT, but you get my point.

Yes, I would feel more at peace if I didn't have to keep something a secret my whole life. I just fear people will judge me for it—something that I have basically no control over, by the way.

[–] silent_water@hexbear.net 15 points 4 months ago (1 children)

think it's easier to just say it than to do the gymnastics to find the right analogy here. it's hard to give advice without the real context.

[–] Comp4@hexbear.net 9 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I might make a follow up post or I wont but I gotta think about how/what to say.

[–] AOCapitulator@hexbear.net 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The right play would probably have been to make an anonymous throwaway account and just asked directly

Hope it worked out for you though :)

[–] Comp4@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I didn't think of that, but now it would be very obvious... I shared it with one person and it went well. After pondering about it, there would be little gained from sharing it on Hexbear. I do want to share it with people that I care about, though. I don't like keeping secrets.

[–] Blockocheese@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Just because you don't let everyone know something doesn't mean you're actively keeping secrets and should feel bad.

I took a huge shit today and me not telling everyone that isn't because I'm keeping secrets or hiding it, it just isnt for everyone who isn't reading this comment to know

[–] Comp4@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I meant keeping secrets that are relevant and in regards to people close to me. I want people that I like to truly know me. That includes secrets that might not be selling points.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago

I mean that's legit. Trust is fragile and precious, the uncertainty of not knowing how people whose opinions you value will react is a very reasonable thing to be concerned about.