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[-] vzq@lemmy.blahaj.zone 117 points 3 months ago

Couch fucker and dolphin lover JD Vance sure is creepy and weird.

[-] MermaidsGarden@lemmy.world 51 points 3 months ago

It’s crazy that people think JD Vance had sex with a couch. There’s no evidence JD Vance had sex with a couch. It’s liberals that are perpetuating the idea that JD Vance had sex with a couch. JD Vance has specifically denied that he has had bare skin contact with a couch within a 5 year period. It’s ludicrous that JD Vance was banned from a Cleveland area IKEA after having intercourse with a KIVIK Sofa Chaise.

I’ll repeat, there is no evidence to believe JD Vance had sex with a couch. JD Vance is not a couchfucker.

[-] vzq@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

You misunderstand the game here.

I’ll repeat, there is no evidence to believe JD Vance had sex with a couch.

That’s true

JD Vance is not a couchfucker.

No amount of fact checking can ever prove that conclusively. You can’t really prove a negative.

So… JD VANCE, COUCHFUCKER EXTRAORDINAIRE

[-] mosiacmango@lemm.ee 17 points 3 months ago

Their comment is extremely sarcastic. I think they understand that game.

[-] Klear@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

How the hell do you know? It's 100% impossible to recognise saracasm in text.
/s
^/s^

[-] jaybone@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Many such cases

[-] Pretzilla@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

You can’t really prove a negative

Though you can within a timeframe, right?

That's why he can say he never fucked a couch in the last five years

[-] ChronosTriggerWarning@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

"Something something absence of evidence is not evidence of absence."

[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 39 points 3 months ago

of course he'd hang with dolphins. They're rapey bastards.

[-] Nougat@fedia.io 21 points 3 months ago

Can a couch give informed consent?

[-] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago

Was the couch old enough for the age of consent?

[-] synae@lemmy.sdf.org 11 points 3 months ago

Of course Vance didn't have sex with a couch!

He raped a couch

[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago

I dunno. But I'm guessing they wouldn't if they could.

[-] zigmus64@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

I’ll bet Vance would drop acid and jerk a dolphin off too…

[-] ChronosTriggerWarning@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

"You're a weird guy, Vance. A weird guy."

  • Dan Marino
[-] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 3 months ago

I mean, it sounds like an interesting weekend at least

[-] DoctorButts@kbin.melroy.org 32 points 3 months ago

Did JD Vance rape and murder a couch in 1990?

[-] ganksy@lemmy.world 32 points 3 months ago

We're just asking questions here

[-] InternetUser2012@lemmy.today 4 points 3 months ago

Yes. Being a rapist is right of passage to becoming a republikkklown

[-] pastabatman@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

Oh no, I haven't heard about the dolphin yet. This man is getting ripped to shreds.

this post was submitted on 26 Jul 2024
429 points (97.6% liked)

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