this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2023
287 points (92.8% liked)

Men's Liberation

1844 readers
1 users here now

This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.


Rules

Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people


Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren't talking over men expressing their own lived experiences.



Be productive


Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people's efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed.

Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting:

  • Build upon the OP
  • Discuss concepts rather than semantics
  • No low effort comments
  • No personal attacks


Assume good faith


Do not call other submitters' personal experiences into question.



No bigotry


Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated.



No brigading


Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues.



Recommended Reading

Related Communities

!feminism@beehaw.org
!askmen@lemmy.world
!mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] tryptaminev@feddit.de -5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Because things like choking someone almost to death, or getting choked are concerning expressions of a damaged psyche. Also unrealistic expectations can cause more frustration on both ends, were people feel unable to meet these expectations and people fail to realize their expectations to be unrealistic.

So in all we could see a development of people having less sex, having less enjoyable sex and using sex to cope with serious mental issues instead of getting help, while society is ignoring problematic soxietal developments by shoving them into sexuality and declaring it as just being liberated kinkyness.

None of these are absolutes and there is many positive changes happening too, but we need to understand sex tastes and sex behaviour to be a reflection of individuals and society, where problems will also show that we need to adress

[–] gapbetweenus@feddit.de 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I see you are a friend of bold claims with nothing to back them up. But I would encourage you to read Marquis de Sade if you think we are getting too Kinky. What I see is humans being less afraid to try out and live out their sexual fantasies and therefore having a more full filling sex life.

[–] tryptaminev@feddit.de -3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You misunderstood me then. Nowhere did i say it is bad or good. I said it needs to be understood as a mirror of people and their society and the underlying issues need to understood.

But yes there is limits to kinkyness. Some years back a guy got convicted because he strangled a woman to death during initially consensual SM sex. He claimed it easnt intentional. He tried to argue in court that sex and death belong together and they found more than 1000 porn videos in his computers with women being killed during sex. If we get to that, then it went too far.

[–] gapbetweenus@feddit.de 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Nowhere did i say it is bad or good.

If we get to that, then it went too far.

So wich one is it, did we go too far or is it neither good or bad?

There is no issue, people have Kinky fantasy, just read some older sex fiction. Even classics as Anaïs Nin can be rather dark. We are just less suppressed by societal norms and are able to share them more freely. And if someone has a problem of separating fiction, fantasy and reality - that is a whole other story, but Salinger is not responsible for Lennons death.

[–] tryptaminev@feddit.de -3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So wich one is it, did we go too far or is it neither good or bad?

The development in its entirety is neither good or bad, but it needs to be understood, as to why such fringe cases occur.

Is it so hard to understand that the world isnt just black or white?

[–] gapbetweenus@feddit.de 3 points 1 year ago

The development in its entirety is neither good or bad, but it needs to be understood, as to why such fringe cases occur.

Sex related violence did not occure before? What development are you talking about? People being more open about their sexual fantasies?

Is it so hard to understand that the world isnt just black or white?

You are the one who is bringing judgment in - so why are you asking me?