this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2024
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I am currently in a really awkward situation. My mother doesn't like my brother but visits him once a week to take care of his child.

But I know they talk trash behind her back and she talks trash behind their back. Both I don't want to be part of and I distance my self from both sides in that case... I have a feeling it is more of my brothers wife that is causing the drama because she is bringing weird stuff up to my wife about me but I don't care.

Either way... I don't want to go deep into that issue because it isn't my issue.

My mother is living in a house and she doesn't want my brother to get anything because I do most of the work. I drive her around, help in the yard,, I help her with her mother (my grandma), I generally have a good relationship with her.

My brother is complete opposite. His wife said they would never want the house because it is in a small town and they like the city more. Now suprise, they are looking for a house but currently unaffordable and they are joking about my house in a small town next to a loud church.

Now that my mother is living in a huge house alone they sometimes say things like: "I wish we had a house for our family": "A house would be so good"- "but not a house next to a church"... etc. so kind of like they are expecting my mother to say "Here are the keys, move in".

I have a decent relationship with my brother and his wife, not awesome but not bad. If he wasn't my brother I wouldn't have anything to do with him though.

Either way I am repairing most of my mothers house, redoing a lot of stuff so my mom can live in a "nice" house with new tiles, walls,... and our wish was to live in that house one day too - basically sell the house that we currently live in that is next to the church lol.

My mother won't talk with him and she said I will get the house and it's already on paper (notary) too but in my country we have a forced 25% inherit. I would have to pay him 25% of the house and thats not really the issue. My problem is he isn't doing anything for my mom and in general it is a totally weird situation because they are both speculating on moving into the house one day (kind of) or using that money from selling the house to buy a new one.

It's like I already know they are getting 25% because of how they are treating our mom (ignoring her, not visiting with the grandson and not calling, not asking if everything is okay etc.) but I feel like I would be happy with 50/50 one day. But from my moms view ven 75/25 is horrible, she'd go full 100% on me.

Edit: I hope it is clear that I don't have an issue with my brother but I feel the inherit of 25% that I already know he will be getting will cause conflict. I didn't choose it and I told my mom to talk with them but she only says: "Normally you don't have to tell your son to visit with grandson if they are only 20 minutes drive away". I mean she isn't wrong though but somehow this is gonna be a conflict one day. The last thing she said was: "I won't talk with him and you are getting the house, 75% of everything I own and he is getting the forced inherit of the law and if you want to give him 50/50 to avoid conflict - I am not here I don't care do whatever you want and give him more money or half the house"

Now just observing of what he is doing for my mother and how inherit should function I do think he doesn't deserve anything. But I mean come on isn't that unfair? On the other side I am sacrificing my free time repairing her house and replacing old stuff with new stuff she is buying (tiles, floor, furniture,...) and he isnt helping at all.

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[–] tentacles9999@lemmynsfw.com 7 points 3 months ago

Transferring the house early cannot be overstated. You may have to pay whatever tax, but, it may reduce so many headaches