this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2024
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Transfem

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For context I'm not out to anyone and I still boymode (6months HRT)

I was at a party in a bar with friends 1 month ago, we took pictures together and posted them in a discord server, immediately a dude "V" asked if I was a real femboy. So now I have people asking me about it and I didn't reply.

Yesterday I had an eyelid surgery and I sent a picture in the group with my eye patch just for fun and V immediately went "yeah you're 100% a femboy I was certain of it" (in another language) and people AGREED???!!

I don't know what to do, on one hand I want to be a woman not a boy or a man, but on the other, since I probably won't pass until I get FFS I might as well say I am a femboy in the meantime, this way I can pretend to be a man and still wear what I want?

I'm not sure I would get treated better than if I was out as a trans woman. Feminine men get a lot of shit. But femboys seem to be trendy enough to be seen as weirdly cool. Idk...

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[โ€“] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It's up to you ultimately. I never identified as a femboy, but I also transitioned long before that label took off. I would be uncomfortable being seen or treated as anything other than a woman, personally. And imo it's better to rip that bandaid off. If they were transphobic they would likely not be enthusiastic about gnc men. But then it depends on the community. Is transphobia normally tolerated there? If not, I'd say you should go for it.

Yeah I'm in one of those countries where trans people are starting to enter public consciousness but are still mostly ignored. But some ppl know about us in that sense my group is a bit progressive, they know another trans woman, she did a lot of shitty stuff (Ava Tyson style) and they keep deadnaming and misgendering her, even if I come out to them my identity is only going to be respected conditionally kind of like a favour. So I feel like I need to go about it progressively.