Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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Someone online thought I did, and it got upvotes so I guess it’s true
We're trans. Sadly people hate us just for existing. The person who said that you look like a hag and the people who liked it are just transphobic trolls. Don't give any value to the words that they say.
The people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind.
(I first heard that quote from Eric Andre, I'm not sure who the original author is, but I find it very useful.)
You're going to have a vocal minority that hates you regardless of anything you do, and they will find whatever insecurities you have and dig at them, because they know it hurts.
I see a ton of people here, giving you advice and support. It's so easy to forget about all of those positive voices when the few hurtful voices are so loud and so very painful. Try not to focus on those, and focus on the more numerous voices cheering for you.
I don't have any advice for your looks. I'm a cis gendered straight guy with about as opposite of hair and build as you as can be hahah. I think listening to some of the other great advice here about focusing on one thing at a time, small changes, etc will go a long way. Once you build a few things you feel good about, your confidence will grow and that will carry you beyond what any advice will.
Good luck, my friend.
People online will also upvote blatant racism and 9/11 truthers and shit. I’m eternally grateful communities like this exist where we can talk about how fucken stupid people can be, and all feel a little less crazy. Who the fuck seriously says “hag” anyways? I’m glad I’m not that dummy.
You’re beautiful by the way, I’d be intimidated to talk to you irl hahaha
"it got upvotes so I guess it's true" ? Honey, if this weren't so painful and personal you'd know exactly how ridiculous that is. The idiocy of the person who insulted you is matched only by their sliminess. They're a slug, and deserve to be squashed.
Moving on to practical suggestions: if you can, get yourself to a lash bar. Don't go crazy, choose a reasonable length, and let an expert stick them on, individual lashes that last for weeks if you're gentle washing your face. While you wait, look around at all the cis women and remember they too are doing this to meet conventional gender norms for women. So conventional in fact that it's one of the first ways little kids make their drawing a girl: add eyelashes.
You have good skin, good hair (follow others' suggestions for making the most of it) and a lovely mouth. Your nose is a little large but a really nice shape, and your cheeks are pretty. Your eyebrows are fine and won't overbalance your eyes if you get your lashes done. If you can't, you can use mascara to bring out your own lashes even if you don't wear any other makeup.