this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2024
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Transfem

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For context I'm not out to anyone and I still boymode (6months HRT)

I was at a party in a bar with friends 1 month ago, we took pictures together and posted them in a discord server, immediately a dude "V" asked if I was a real femboy. So now I have people asking me about it and I didn't reply.

Yesterday I had an eyelid surgery and I sent a picture in the group with my eye patch just for fun and V immediately went "yeah you're 100% a femboy I was certain of it" (in another language) and people AGREED???!!

I don't know what to do, on one hand I want to be a woman not a boy or a man, but on the other, since I probably won't pass until I get FFS I might as well say I am a femboy in the meantime, this way I can pretend to be a man and still wear what I want?

I'm not sure I would get treated better than if I was out as a trans woman. Feminine men get a lot of shit. But femboys seem to be trendy enough to be seen as weirdly cool. Idk...

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[–] Daxter101@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Thanks, the thrift idea is probably pretty good. And, as long as something is inside my house, it's plenty safe, so I don't worry about that.

My actual style, slowly is shifting towards a style between punk and hippie that does exist here (we have a couple of... I think in English they're called squats? Occupations? People take over public buildings for protest, and live in them long term as small semi-communes), with long hair, loose-fitting short sleeved dress shirts, short jeans and piercings.

To be perfectly honest with you, my masc expression is enjoyable as fuck.

But, maybe, for that reason, and because of my sense of what non-binary is... This "slight femininity" is not feminine to me. It's a well balanced, healthy masculinity.

And I love this part of myself.

Probably slightly oversharing rantAnd at the same time, I wanna dye the tips of my hair pink. I wanna skirt go spinny. I want the interesting, chaotic, enormous variety that girl clothes have. And dresses. I want a damned nipple piercing, without being scared of how much it shows through clothes. I wanna be able to hug people without feeling self-conscious, either like I'm inappropriate and invading, or like I'm "socially not understanding the rules" and "not acting like a man".

So yeah. I'm more struggling with gender roles, than aesthetics themselves. But god knows I'd enjoy playing around with the simple joys of it all, in my home at least.

Thanks for the recommendations and the site, by the way!