this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2024
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obligatory I'm a German nurse living in Germany, but the German channels on lemmy don't have as many members as this one, so I ask here.

When I work I like to do my job and then relax. To me, doing it the other way round is just stupid. I was never the kind of person that goes to work to socialize, I don't need it and I strongly resent forced socialization.

For the last 2 years I've worked within the same hospital system and it's clear to me now, nobody thinks like me: all my coworkers spend the first hour of the shift talking about their private lives, as they were looking for excuses not to work and expect anyone else to take care of patients. And because I'm the only one with this job mentality, it's always me the one who works while the rest do nothing.

This is very frustrating and I'm now applying elsewhere, but it bothers me that my new workplace can turn out to be like this.

I'm also applying for office positions (no shifts) and wonder: does this happen there as well? Ideally I'd be completely responsible for my work alone.

I feel like a student at school again, when the teacher forced me to work in a group with the lazier ones and I ended up either doing most of the job or became as lazy as them. Why work when they don't?

I don't want to work with people who slow me down.

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[โ€“] Cataphract@lemmy.ml 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The scariest part about this whole thing, you're a nurse. You know, a job that takes compassion and understanding, the ability to work with other professions and a team setting. Where you're not the soul care-provider for a patient but work in unison with others, this was the profession you chose to go down after constantly hating working with other people in school?!?

You stated, "When I work I like to do my job and then relax. To me, doing it the other way round is just stupid." This is purely a "YOU" problem. Obviously other people are still getting their job done, I guessed you also missed the "Hare and Tortoise Race" meaning in elementary school as well. (in case you need it, you're the hare sitting at the end of the race fuming and puffing upset)

This is your post, people have come on here to contribute and engage. A simple level of decorum is expected but instead it's hostility all the way down. You could've dispelled the previous members comment with factual information but you took the time to belittle instead of disengaging. You're a nurse with social anxiety, did no one in your entire time of training discuss bed manners? How did you avoid any actual understanding of what a nurses day is like (socializing) until it was too late? You literally just had to have one actual conversation with someone to find that out.

If socializing and navigating people was easy for you, this wouldn't be a problem. Again, this is a weakness that the group projects hoped to tackle. Learning how to engage and speak to people, finding out what their strengths and weaknesses are, learning how to encourage someone in their work versus constant discouragement because "you're just not doing it the way I want you to do it". Having the ability to get over yourself and let the group finish at the GROUP's pace, not your own. Is it a control issue? Are you just not confident that anything will get done unless it's the way you see it? Has nothing ever gotten done without your direct input in this world? Is there a way to resolve the inner-group conflicts without the need to involve outside interference (teacher/management).

Those are all reflection points that occur in an active group project. You did yourself and the others in those projects a disservice by not recognizing and addressing them. "the teacher forced me to work in a group with the lazier ones and I ended up either doing most of the job or became as lazy as them", maybe the teacher was hoping to hone some leadership skills in you they saw. Instead it was an "all my way or nothing" decision like you're constantly making now. You also reinforced in the other students, with your mentality, that they could control the narrative and either have you do the work or no one does the work (which might be happening now in your workplace). Again, that's a socializing short coming that you're not picking up on.

You do realize socializing is more than just gossip and political leanings right? That's just the facade of socializing, people just want to be heard and know you're willing to think of them as more than just another worker drone and they actually matter as a human being who's navigating this crazy world. It's part of being a team, respect for the individual, the small human personality stuff. I'm assuming you don't care about that though, it's just too much hassle with your short comings and how you've wired your brain.

I do imagine there's a perfect client out there for you, someone who doesn't want to talk and just needs you there for the job and only wants one full-time nurse. It would be like winning the lottery chances of luck, but I would rather see you and the person you're treating happy if you can't get over your issues.

tl;dr Good luck. If you can't read the passage above or reflect on it after wanting an explanation, then this is just a post for you to complain.