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submitted 1 year ago by USAONE@lemmy.world to c/politics@lemmy.world
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[-] AllonzeeLV@lemmy.world 122 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

That's ok. They have Dr. Cletus, who got his MD at the school of Common Sense and did his residency at the hospital of Traditional American Values.

Red states don't care about having physicians trained from filthy leftist academia, propagandizing them with "facts" from scientists trying to sell books. Cletus is more competent to perform surgery than any blue state "Doctor," because he knows the south will rise again, and he has gumption and a can do attitude. Checkmate, stuff in books!

[-] squiblet@kbin.social 37 points 1 year ago

The most important thing for me is whether my doctor is Proud to be an American.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago

Now wait- there's a far more important thing: Does he accept Jesus as his personal savior?

[-] AllonzeeLV@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Just to be clear, does he accept white supply-side Jesus as his personal savior?

Because the commie, middle-eastern Jesus who told us to... 🤢... help one another doesn't count!

[-] Cobrachickenwing@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 year ago

God changed his mind about black people in 1978. So blacks are included too.

[-] idunnololz@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

What a swell god. Has he changed his mind on gay people yet?

[-] squiblet@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

the real Lord/Jesus/Holy Spirit is not monitoring your dick or labia 24/7. I mean, that would be fucked up.

So "my religious belief is that there is an omniscient spirit who is constantly monitoring and judging what you do with your genitals"

oh, uh,... okay...

[-] squiblet@kbin.social 7 points 1 year ago

well DUH, every Proud American loves Jesus more than his own mother. If you don't, the Proud American Committee executes you.

[-] Diprount_Tomato@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

What denomination? That 19th heresy or OUR 19th century heresy?

[-] squiblet@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

i had to do 18 Hail Marys after i read this, thx

[-] Diprount_Tomato@lemmy.world -1 points 1 year ago
[-] dipshit@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

(it’s a drinking game, and the drink is the ~~body~~ blood of christ)

[-] Diprount_Tomato@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Even though not all drinks are

[-] dipshit@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

I don’t know how you play hail mary but that’s what me and the boys always do.

[-] Diprount_Tomato@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago
[-] dipshit@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Well yeah, jesus is delicious.

[-] starrox@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

Thanks for the laugh! :D

I wonder if Dr. Cletus would give me a prostate exam

[-] AllonzeeLV@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Honey, If you got some meth on you, Dr. Cletus will examine anything you like 😉

[-] Diprount_Tomato@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

With a gun barrel for even thinking he'd do liberal shit maybe

[-] squiblet@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

hello, i had to give my pastor $5 for this comment

this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2023
629 points (97.7% liked)

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