Greentext

It's a bit like the shortest joke: A woman comes at the doctor....

Or in German: Kommt 'ne Frau beim Arzt...

This one works well in German and English, but I assume it's untranslatable in many other languages.

The farmer and the farmhand are out in the field working. Suddenly the sky closes in and it looks like rain. The farmhand says to the farmer: "If we don't hurry now, we'll get soaked here." The farmer says to the farmhand: "Then go into the house and get my wellies!" The farmhand says: "Why me? Why don't you get your wellies yourself?" The farmer looks at the farmhand angrily and asks: "Who’s the farmer? Who’s the Farmhand?"

The farmhand goes into the house in a rage. The farmer's wife and her pretty daughter are sitting at the kitchen table. The farmhand says to the two of them: "The farmer said you two should get naked so I can fuck you." The two women look at each other. The farmer's wife is surprised: "No, I don't believe that. The farmer would never say something like that, would he?" "Yes, he would," says the farmhand. "But I can ask again just in case." He goes to the kitchen window and opens it. The farmer's wife has followed him and is standing next to it. The farmhand shouts out into the field: "Farmer, both of them?" The farmer looks at the window and shouts back: "Both of course, you idiot!"

Québécois and a French learning Ontarian having a chat. The Ontarians goes - o look a fly, Québécois corrects him- A fly. O - wow you have good eyesight. Wregarde, un mouche- -Non, une mouche

This is a kids pun joke that got lost in translation. Treffen can mean either to meet or to hit (like with a bullet).

Want a funny German joke? Why don't ants go to church? Because they're insects!

An angry Ontarian calls a radio show, and complains about all the Newfies coming to Ontario to take the good jobs. "We aughta build a wall to keep them Newfies out!"

Next call to the radio show is a newfie: "Owshegettinonb’y? Ye by's be havin' any jobs bildin tha' wall or wha'?"

(How are you doing? You guys have any jobs building that wall, or what?)

German humour is no laughing matter!

What's yellow, and waiting? Jonathan.

e: i promise it's not racist

These two are from Romania, specifically about people from Ardeal (the region encompassing Transylvania) - which means they're aimed at the fact that people from Ardeal are slow (haha, so funny, Southerners...):

1. John and George were out on the field reaping all day and were heading back to the village. Suddenly, it starts raining fiercely, so they huddle under some walnut trees and decide to spend the night there in case it wouldn't let up.

Later on, while sleeping, George is suddenly woken up by a foul smell. "John," he said softly, "did you fart?"

"No, George, must've been the dog."

"Oh, ok."

A couple of minutes pass, then George suddenly has a realisation: "John, the dog isn't here, though..."

"Oh, don't worry," says John half asleep, "I'm sure it'll turn up eventually."

2. John, George and Mary were at the bus stop, waiting for the bus. They've been there for half an hour, sitting.

"The bus isn't coming," John says softly.

After a couple of minutes, George replies matter-of-factly: "it'll come, I'm telling you."

A few more minutes pass, then Mary chimes in: "if you two keep arguing, I'm walking home."

Funnybot, is that you?

«done is done said the moose and walked over the river and became a reindeer.»

in norwegian done rhymes with deer, and reindeer rhymes with clean.

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

The pot is lauging because the boiler is black.

Girl goes to a store and asks: "do you sell pantyhoses?". The salesman replies: "why? Do you have half an ass?"