Phen

joined 2 years ago
[–] Phen 13 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I've never had any support from others into managing my adhd so I can't say what helps for sure, but I can shed some light into it so you can try to find a way to help.

. 1. It's very hard for us to associate work and reward unless the reward is immediate. If you tell your kid "if you clean your room we can do X this weekend", they'll want to clean their room, but their "body" will still see it as a pointless chore.

. 2. "out of sight, out of mind". Imagine that people's brains are like an internet browser, with different stuff being in different tabs. For a NT person, there are a few tabs open with the stuff that they are doing that day and anything that is not relevant at the moment is saved on bookmarks to be retrieved at another time. The active tab is the thoughts that are currently going on in the head. For someone with ADHD, this browser would not have bookmarks and in turn it keeps the tabs open forever. As an effect of that, we can no longer manually switch between tabs. Once we switch to a different tab, the old one is lost and the only way to access it again is "clicking on a link to the same page". But we are so used to switching tabs all the time that everything loads instantly already.

Let me try to give practical examples of what I mean with this:

Say you live on the second floor of a building and you need to take the stairs to get home. Going up you notice the first step of the stairs is broken and need repairs. You make a note of it and continues going up. Thats a thought for the "stairs" tab that is currently active. You go into your house and notice your pet's food bowl. The browser now switches to the "feed pet" tab, which makes you realize you haven't done it that day yet. Anything about the stairs is now completely wiped from your head, as if you had never even thought about it. You go feed your pet and on the way you notice a pile of dirty clothes to wash. Your brain now switches to laundry tab and you forget anything about the pet. You start the laundry and go back to your living room, see the pet's food bowl again and goes "oh yeah I need to feed it" - this puts the pet tab back into your head. This time you carry the bowl with you so it keeps that tab active and you can complete the task. At night you're watching some show, commercial break hits and an ad shows someone going up some stairs so you go "fuck, the stairs" but it's night now and you can't do anything about it. Your wife comes in and asks what are you watching. You have no idea because you're on the "stairs" tab now. Commercial break ends, you see one character and that puts you back on the show tab, so you instantly remember the name and the whole plot.

If you expect someone with ADHD to do something, there's only a few ways they'll actually do it:

  • there's immediate consequences for doing/not doing it.
  • there's something constantly reminding them they need to do it.
  • they dedicate their whole day into not forgetting to do it.

That third one is what we've come to call "waiting mode". It's what we do when we have an appointment at a specific time of the day for example. We hold on to that "tab" so hard to ensure we don't lose it, that we basically become unable to do anything else until that is done. When we're in waiting mode, simply looking at a clock will switch the active tab back to that appointment and make us lose track of whatever else we were trying to do. Everybody eventually develops this skill (sacrificing their whole day so they don't forget their appointment) after missing too many things - so don't expect your kid to be able to remember to do things on their own.

. 3. Living like this is tiring. Feeling like we have no control over where our own thoughts go. It's like there are bees inside our head constantly buzzing buzzing. And then at one point you find something that makes the bees sleep. Playing videogames, drawing, solving some logic puzzles - what it is changes for everyone, but your kid will find hobbies that will make the buzzing stop. Such a hobby will give great relief, on top of anything else a hobby gives us. But when the bees are sleeping, we are "frozen" into that tab - if left to our own devices we'll often forget to eat, sleep and everything else. Initially you'll have to ensure your kid doesn't get stuck on their hobby alone. Do remember though that everytime you take your kid off of their hobby, you're waking up the bees in their head. You may notice that their immediate reaction to it might be to be very annoyed. You'll both have to learn to manage it, but what I recommend is trying to keep interruptions to a minimum. If the kid needs to do things, try to get them to do them all at once so they can have more ininterrupted time too. If you wake the bees every 10 minutes, it can be infuriating.

. 4. Any relief that we get from doing rewarding things or from "putting the bees to sleep" are also contained to that "tab". If your kid spends a whole afternoon resting they'll feel rested during that afternoon, but as soon as you ask them to do some chore, it's as if they hadn't rested at all. Imagine like you had a clone of yourself and you have your clone do everything you don't like doing. It's kinda like that, but instead of being two different beings, your kid is switching between being the one that only rests and the one that only works. Doing the same chores every day feels more and more annoying every time we do it.

. 5. Kinda repeating one of my previous posts, but anything that is stashed away somewhere will eventually be forgotten. Things that are kept in plain sight will naturally see more use. Things may end up being suddenly forgotten too. For example if the kid is learning to play guitar and they practice every day for months, then one day they don't and it goes on for six weeks before they even remember they were learning the guitar, at which point the habit is completely broken. Habits in general are harder to form and once formed, we still need to put effort into keeping it or it may just vanish.

I could still write a lot more, but I should get going now, writing this made the bees sleep and I forgot to go to work.

[–] Phen 15 points 1 day ago

Everything, but mostly that it gets its name based on what annoys others instead of what bothers us. Attention problems and Hiperactivity are just two tiny parts of ADHD. There are other much more significant symptoms

In general the disorder is related to not properly processing neurotransmitters so everything that is "managed" by neurotransmitters can be out of whack. And some folks seem to have more problems with one kind of neurotransmitters than others.

Neurotransmitters are things like Dopamine, Serotonin, Endorfine, Noradrenalin. Example of stuff that are managed by them: Movement, control of the body, stress, sleep, attention, memory, learning, inhibition, joy, pain relief.

So, just by that you can probably imagine how broad the effects of ADHD might be.

We still don't know any way to treat the root cause effectively (neurotransmitters being "killed"). The only thing that helps, is forcing the body to generate more of those neurotransmitters, hoping that it'll process more of them that way. That works even with different stuff. If we generate more Dopamine, the body ends up processing more of the Serotonin it already produces too. That's why stimulants work so well at regulating us - it floods our brain with artificial stuff that end up "shielding" the natural stuff to let them do their job too.

That is also why stimulants can sometimes make us more relaxed or even sleepy - it's not that the stimulant itself causes that, but it let's the body finally process everything properly so it can understand that it is supposed to be sleepy.

For someone without ADHD where the neurotransmitters are processed properly, stimulants will do nothing more than stimulate.

[–] Phen 12 points 2 days ago

If it was just the title, I would've believed it.

[–] Phen 2 points 2 days ago

Nope. Started as a boring b2b product, over time it evolved to be more generic and usable by pretty much anyone. It was about three years after the first release that we found out it was being used by terrorists (I think ISIS?) , then pedophile groups a few months after that. Both were brought to our attention by random news on the web. They weren't our customers, but official militaries for a few countries actually are.

[–] Phen 1 points 3 days ago

As a general rule, sure. In my specific case it's just the truth. We have dozens of competitors that can do everything our software do - and they are probably used for other evil purposes too, along with many noble or just boring uses as well.

And one thing I might not have been clear about: I've never done anything specifically for those people, it's just that they happen to also use the stuff I worked on.

[–] Phen 1 points 3 days ago

I think there's a big difference between the person pulling the trigger and the person assembling the gun, even if ultimately both of their actions were required for a murder to happen.

[–] Phen 4 points 3 days ago (4 children)

I've written code that was later used by militaries, terrorists, pedophiles, and others. The American navy uses my code. The IDF uses my code to plan their attacks on Gaza. Some folks use my code to share CP.

The same code is used to help defend folks who have been arrested by corrupt cops in Brazil and also to manage Japan's power grid. It's used by universities to improve the services they provide and by some smaller companies making tinder-like apps to help young folks hook up.

How it's used is completely out of my control. If I didn't work on it, someone else would. If nobody did, all of those people from my examples would just be using something else. The world wouldn't have been a better or worse place. I'm nothing but a small cog in a large machine and if I don't do my part to keep the machine running, all that will happen is that I'll be replaced by another cog and be left to rust.

Now, I'm not trying to advocate for nihilism here. It's more of a "pick your battles" point of view. If I didn't do the tools that are being used for evil, it wouldn't stop evil, so the only thing that quitting would help is my consciousness. It wouldn't improve the world in any way. However, my own life is certainly improved by this work and by living in better conditions, I'm much more capable of doing good things for the world if I so choose. I personally believe that this is much better.

Of course if I could just change jobs to something that doesn't help evil, that would be preferable.

[–] Phen 3 points 3 days ago

I do it all the time. And I even do worse things, like putting it in bread with margarine.

[–] Phen 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Brazil did something similar a couple decades ago and it helped reduce numbers of violent crimes to some extent. The numbers were constantly going up year after year and this iniative made it go down drastically, but it continued going up at the same rate as it did before. After a decade or so it was already at the same rate as it used to be before they got the guns - and it kept going further up since

[–] Phen 25 points 6 days ago

I don't doubt my brother would say the same about me. Some time ago my grandma let it slip that when I first moved out of my parents' house, my uncle said I would surely be lost to drugs then. I've never even smoked weed, barely ever drank alcohol to start with. I'm still the black sheep.

If you're wondering why, it's the 'tism.

[–] Phen 24 points 6 days ago

Not who I expected would be saying it loud, but I'll take it.

[–] Phen 13 points 6 days ago (6 children)

Wait, git evolves?

 

Just because the best thing might have been easy to answer, I want you all to think a little more to recall what was the second best thing that happened to you this year.

 

Anything exciting going on in your field of work this year? Or breakthroughs in science, new technologies developed, things like that.

45
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Phen to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
 

Some news that would be completely mundane today but scary or shocking in the past.

 

Tava querendo comprar uma pra não precisar mais ficar correndo em gráfica sempre que preciso assinar algum documento, mas pqp é tudo apenas 110v. E a informação ainda fica bem escondida pra maioria delas.

Eu tava comparando uns 4 modelos pensando em qual comprar quando por acaso vi um comentário em um deles falando sobre ser 110v, aí fui conferir e todas eram. To tão acostumado com tudo ser bivolt hoje em dia que se não fosse o comentário eu nem teria conferido.

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