Casual Conversation

I can do a spot-on impression of the standard deep, booming monster-truck rally advertising voice.

"This FRIDAY! (Friday... Friday...) Only at the Gigantodome! Beer Swiller Productions presents MONSTER TRUCK MAYHEM! You'll pay for the entire seat but you'll only need the EDGGGGGGGGE!"

Well... of course you can't hear it, but if you could, seriously, it's dead-on.

I can pick things up with my toes. Not completely useless, maybe, but not exactly the pinnacle of tricks!

I'm a very large person (250lb/110kg, over 6'/1.8m) and I walk almost silently, unless I'm trying to be loud. I've learned to make some kind of noise when approaching people from behind, because otherwise it almost guarantees a jump scare

I can sit down and calmly read an entire manual from front to back.

I can smell when it's going to snow.

Tuvan throat singing. Nobody knows I can do it. I perfected it during a 3hr commute to work each day for a decade.

I took inspiration from the primitive technology youtube channel and managed to make a ceramic pot by extracting clay from mud. The pot looks a bit shit, but it holds water!

Tempted to try and make a bigger one sometime.

I can read text in any orientation, even if mirrored, as easily as if it was right side up / not mirrored. Not sure why, and almost completely useless, but was surprised to discover that supposedly not everyone can do this?

I can make my ears rumble on command.

I'm completely ambidextrous. It comes into "handy" when one hand gets tired doing a task, like writing for a long time, but no one has ever noticed and I don't think anyone would be impressed.

I can run any piece of machinery with an hour of goof around time. Doesn't matter what it is. Let me poke around it for an hour or so and I'll have all the controls and most quirks figured out.

Sadly it's useless because employers won't give me a chance to prove it.

I can fart on command, just wait a sec...

Oh shit, there goes my streak 💩

I know the frog mating calls for all species of frogs in my area and volunteer for the local DNR to survey frog populations in my county. It's a good indicator of water quality.

I took a random amphibian research class as an elective, loved it, and still do it 20+ years later.

I can hold a pencil using my forehead.

I learnt to whistle by whistling inwards first, so I can constantly whistle without needing to stop for breath, aswell as maintain the correct pitch and note for when it comes to tunes between breathing in and out. Dont know if that's much of a skill, but eh, I like whistling

I’m basically a drug dog but for Dr. Pepper.

When my friends and family get different dark colas in their food orders and can’t determine which is which they have me sniff it out.

Can’t quite do it for other colas but it’s a fun little hill I’ll die on for others’ benefit (I hate Dr. Pepper).

I can type really loud and pretty fast. At least, faster than anyone I know. And it's so loud that it ruins any song that's playing. Big keyboard with clicky switches and foam lining on the PCB to make it extra deep. It sounds like a foam dart mini gun and it makes me feel about eight feet tall. Totally frivolous and obnoxious, but I love it.

(Home office, I'm not a total psycho)

My thumbs are double jointed, so I can move the middle parts 90° backwards.

I can stop a microwave on zero. Not 1. 0.

The only contests I ever won were an eating contest (6 large Pizzas) and one where I had to correctly identify 6 different brands of Cola in a blind test.
My other biggest strength is extreme long distance endurance. I'm not fast, but I can be "not slow" for 40 hours.

1. I can make exquisitely intricate paper snowflakes, and have them turn out exactly how I visualized them.
2. I can perfectly control the browning level and inside melted-ness level when I roast marshmallows. My favorite way to do them is: warm but unmelted center surrounded by ~¼" thick melted layer, evenly medium toasted outside, with just one top corner briefly ignited and immediately extinguished for just a hint of char flavor and a bien cuit aesthetic.

I can use right-handed scissors with my left hand, and I can knit in both directions without switching hands. I guess being ambidextrous isn’t totally useless (if I ever break my right hand, I’ll still be able to do most things), but it’s not really useful most of the time.

I can almost always figure out that boardgame you played that you can't remember the name of. Came in handy when I was the manager of a game store.

I can read and write the standard galactic alphabet from commander keen

I'm a ridiculously good mimic - if I hear a sound I can often immediately repeat it; crow call, human voice, chickens. Anything in my limited vocal range. Not after the memory fades, but really so close right after. Once in the car one of my kids was whining and I so perfectly repeated it that all of them collapsed in laughter, whiner included.

I can beat the original Pikmin game in 7 in-game days, which is very close to the limit to how fast the game can be beaten which is 6 days!

I have been told by multiple Korean, Chinese, and Japanese immigrants that I could make a decent living as an extra eating with chopsticks in the background of their TV/ movies. I use a pair of stainless steel chopsticks with no notching, so they are totally smooth, making them "master level" difficulty to use. Apparently the fact that I'm left handed is a bonus. Oh, I'm the whitest kid you know with sandy blonde almost brown hair.

I can hide my tongue behind my soft palate.

I've said to my kids, "Where's my tongue?", then opened my mouth and it's not there.

I can also make a mushy pile of skin on my knee by gathering skin inside the circle of my thumb and index finger (like an ok sign). It feels gross when you push it.

I'm a fun dad.

Not entirely useless, but I can throw something into a trash can damn near every time without missing. Even if I can't see the trash can, but know where it is

I can balance a soda can at a precarious looking angle. A modern soda can has two rims on the bottom, the major diameter and a minor diameter. With the right amount of soda in the can, it will balance on those two rims.

I actually found a use for this skill, it's good for teaching weight and balance in flight school.

Im really good at doxxing people based off the useless skill they are proud of.

I can spin around and around indefinitely without getting dizzy.

I can whistle really well

No one can beat me at simon, that four color memory game. I don't remember what my high score was but I can easily get to level 60 before I start to struggle

I can talk just like Hoggle in the Labyrinth, and I learned the trick on how to roll the balls around on my hand the way David Bowie does in the movie.

Lockpicking. It sounds useful in theory, but being locked out of something you need (e.g. your house or some container you're authorized at work) pretty much never happens, and even if you are in this kind of scenario, there's no shot you're carrying tools on you 24/7. Still a pretty fun hobby though.