this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2023
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This was my childhood and I don't like it

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[–] cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 40 points 2 years ago (2 children)

you mean god doesn't think he's an awesome god?

[–] FancyLad@lemmy.world 39 points 2 years ago (1 children)

He's very insecure and needs modestly talented, failed pop stars to cheer him up and boost his confidence.

[–] massive_bereavement@kbin.social 19 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Every Sunday I wondered why does the creator of everything that has existed as long as the universe exists went through so much work just to hear me sing how great it is.

Maybe it is a kind of dragon ball situation and us singing gives it power?

[–] FancyLad@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You have to travel the world attending holy Communion with your Jesus radar to find the sacred Jesus Balls to summon the mighty Shen- I mean Jesus. He will grant you one wish, unless of course we have a Dende situation, then you get multiple wishes. Too many evil wishes summons evil Shen- I mean the Devil.

[–] massive_bereavement@kbin.social 3 points 2 years ago

Is Jesus from Namek then?

[–] schnapsman@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

He reignnnnnns...

[–] Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

OK, I'm with you on early nineties worship music. Looking back now I can't believe how much I was into that stuff (church indoctrination is fucked up, yo). But honestly, I have a soft spot for DC Talk. Their music was dumb as hell, but it kind of slapped in that weird grunge meets boy-band vibe they had going on.

[–] FancyLad@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Ahh I should have made the title "Jars of Clay," it's just that was the first christian rock band that popped into my head during the terrifying PTSD nightmares I regularly experience. After long road trips with my southern Baptist mother, I am forever scarred.

[–] Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 years ago

Oh yeah, I had like every Jars of Clay album. Our family owned, like, a decades worth of WOW music, every Delirious album, you name it.

I'm sorry about the nightmares. I get it. That shit kept me in the closet for decades. There's stuff I can go back to now and still feel positive about, but I understand when other people can't.

[–] M500@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 years ago (4 children)

What’s an example for someone who is unfamiliar?

[–] SARGEx117@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago (2 children)

"Yay god, I love God, we love God, don't you love God? He's the best! Better than others! (Here's 3 slightly modified verses from the Bible songified. Two are out of order but it makes my song sound better.) Yay god. I love God. But like I REALLY love him. God. "

And then while singing, make sure one or both of your arms is in some form of lift. It can be way up like you're reaching for a rase you know you aren't going to get, or it can be just 6 inches away from your side, one or both arms doesn't matter as long as an arm is doing something. That's how you really know someone is better at religion than you.

[–] FancyLad@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

I love God so much he took the kids and filed a restraining order against me.

[–] M500@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Damn! I want to religion good. What if I don’t have arms?

[–] SARGEx117@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Well I have some bad news for you.... Straight to hell. God apparently only wants arm-lifters.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 7 points 2 years ago

"My God is an Awesome God"

[–] FancyLad@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 years ago

Every day I'm thankful that my mum took me to a pretty liberal methodist church and not the kind of evangelical ones you see on tv. Our sunday school was basically playing Donkey/Horse for money with bible questions.

[–] cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 years ago (2 children)
[–] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 1 points 2 years ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

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[–] M500@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 years ago

Omg! That brings back memories of staying home from school with a fever and helplessly laying on the couch watching this commercial.

[–] SuckMyWang@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

Late 2000’s is where is at

[–] Cagi@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 years ago

Time is slipping away (away).