this post was submitted on 05 May 2025
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SOURCE - https://brightwanderer.tumblr.com/post/681806049845608448

Alt-text:
I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.

Like... if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you're a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.

The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.

| just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success... I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.

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[–] DrFistington@lemmy.world 27 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yup. And god forbid you start a small business that's successful and decide to pay your employees a good wage and set aside a fair amount of profit for yourself. That's loser talk. You need to go public or sell the business for a giant payout at the expense of your employees, and then you have to keep making more money every year for shareholders, or else they'll consider you a failure and jump ship

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[–] Rooskie91@discuss.online 27 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Idk, being sad about and grappling with the impermanent nature of things is kinda a fundamental part of being human.

[–] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)

When I was young I used to like sculpting in modeling clay. After I had made whatever it was and shown it to my friends, I'd smush it up and make something else. I had a constant stream of people trying to get me to change my medium so that stuff could be made permanent, but I didn't like the feel and I was fine with the pieces being temporary.

There are a lot of things like that. People make ice sculptures or do performance art. People enjoy an experience, sometimes as simple as a sunset. Yes, some of those people will try to capture the moment, say with a photograph, but lots of people are okay with the ephemeral.

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[–] RadicalEagle@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Maybe it’s not fundamental and it’s just a phase that doesn’t last forever :P

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[–] skittle07crusher@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 day ago (6 children)

On Wikipedia, an article for a deceased person reads, “[The deceased] was,” while an article for a TV show that has ended reads, “The Office is

Feels kinda related in some way

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This.

I would rather have things to end and turn into good memories, rather than having it turn to shit.

[–] Zink@programming.dev 6 points 1 day ago

Such a good way to put it. And I have focused on something similar for myself. Literally everything is temporary.

I tend to be a planner, a saver, the person who never uses consumable items in games, and the person who will avoid using an item they like so that it will last longer.

It’s helped me allow myself to enjoy today more, and spend more of my time doing things I want to be doing.

[–] SecretSauces@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago

I think in some cases it's driven by capitalism. Your business didn't make you money forever? Failed. Your books stopped selling and you didn't make millions from what you published? Failed. Your show was good for a couple of seasons, but outlived it's hype? Failed

There are other scenarios line you mentioned, marriage or hobbies, that AREN'T about money. But the ones that involve profit follow that.

[–] Shanmugha@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I need a thousand more accounts just to upvote this

[–] RandomVideos@programming.dev 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I woild have recommended !lemmysilver , but thats over. Maybe you can wait one year and hope that another event happens so you can give this post lemmy silver?

[–] Shanmugha@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I sure can. Thank you for suggestion, it did not even occur to me there may exist something like that :)

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