this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2023
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Risa

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Come on'n get your jamaharon on! There are no real rules—just don't break the weather control network.

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Follow Bill and Ted's Law: Be excellent to each other.

And keep it in good humor.

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[–] GreenMario@lemm.ee 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] LopensLeftArm@sh.itjust.works 20 points 1 year ago

Pulaski would've been too OP.

[–] FlatFootFox@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The cat doctor wins on account of being able to swear. But Dr. Culber gets bonus points for sarcastically delivering medical care on occasion.

[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 year ago

Not only for being able to swear, but for making liberal use of that privilege

[–] gregorum@lemm.ee 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Crusher was only terrible to Q, who very much had it coming. And it was funny when she called him a pain in the ass.

[–] ummthatguy@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 year ago

Tbf that is the correct way of interacting with Q

[–] CileTheSane@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This list is missing Polasky. She wouldn't beat the EMH, but she would tear a strip off you if you got injured doing something stupid.

Pulaski also seemed to be high functioning autistic, with researcher abrasive in the mix.

Dr. Tracy Pollard of Discovery and head of Sickbay definitely had snark.

[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Because he's not listed, Julian.

[–] ummthatguy@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Yeah, him too. Look, I had 6 spots and several shows to cover. Not to mention his lack of ethics in dating his patients.

[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Fair enough, I would have given any name that wasn't on the list, I mean, Tom Paris was a doc for a short bit, right? (My collectors plate has it in a footnote)

[–] ummthatguy@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Field medic with basic training.

[–] setsneedtofeed@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Inflammable means flammable? What a starship.

[–] Stamets@startrek.website 7 points 1 year ago

The fact that inflammable and flammable mean the same thing in reality still fucking infuriates me.

[–] marcos@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Well, if I was deemed a criminal by the act of existing, I wouldn't care a lot about ethics either.

[–] littlecolt@lemm.ee 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Culber is the real sleeper here because he'll deal stealth emotional damage. That sweet smile, those deep eyes, and then he says the most snarky, sarcastic shit you can imagine given the situation. This is the only way to tame Stamets after all.

[–] Stamets@startrek.website 7 points 1 year ago

He also used peanuts. Turns out I'm part elephant.

[–] conditional_soup@lemm.ee 15 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Toss up between EMH and T'Ana, really, but I'd say T'Ana has more lovable burnout energy that the crew vibe with, where the EMH is just kind of a dick. I love him, he's one of my favorite characters in all of Trek, but his bedside manner makes him a huge pain in the ass for anyone normal to work with. The people who got along best with him are Seven, who basically had high-functioning autism implants from the Borg, and Kes, who was, by and large, incapable of being mad. Janeway dealt with him fine because she just never took any shit from him as a matter of policy, and the only other person he vibed hard with was a fucking serial killer. Tom Paris, who stands out for being by far the biggest normie on Voyager, couldn't stand the EMH (though he also hated sick bay).

So, gotta go with EMH having the worst bedside manner.

[–] CileTheSane@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 year ago

Going to have to agree. He was never intended to need a good bedside manner because he was never supposed to be doing long term patient care. So they never bothered to program it.

He was designed for emergencies: "Do this. Do it now. Moving on."

[–] ummthatguy@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

He can be a bit of a pill.

Autism implants 💀

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Voyager's EMH was so awful to deal with that the upgrade path was Andy Dick.

[–] FordPrefect@startrek.website 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Huh... I just assumed the Andy Dick hologram was so much more pushy that it got the other one deprecated out of pettiness.

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago

At least he didn't delete him by getting Janeway back on cocaine.

[–] MamboGator@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I always thought Phlox had the best bedside manner. The EMH is the crankiest I know of but I didn't watch Discovery or Lower Decks.

[–] ummthatguy@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Phlox could be short with patients who were holding back, but he respected and protected them like no other.

[–] MarmaladeMermaid@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

He really went above and beyond for T’pol that one time…

[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And that time he tried to set Trip up with his wife.

[–] MarmaladeMermaid@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] ummthatguy@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

I immediately read the words of Dostoyevsky and Karl Marx, and in the words of Albert Schweitzer,

Lower Decks Doctor T'ana is basically a combination of Bines and the EMH with decades of burnout behind her. She's just the best

[–] MrPoopyButthole@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

EMH with ethical subroutines disabled

[–] oeverbloem@feddit.nl 4 points 1 year ago

He has ethical subroutines?????!??

[–] Stamets@startrek.website 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

As much as I love my beloved being included in anything, the only person Culber ever has bedside manner around is his husband. Even then it's when his husband is being stubborn as shit. Hugh is super professional. One reason why I asked him to marry me.

[–] ummthatguy@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Stamets@startrek.website 4 points 1 year ago

Man, Matt and Trey are some of my favorite people on the planet.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Cat doctor from Lower Decks might cough up a hairball inside your phaser wound. On purpose.

Though considering Paul F. Thompkins plays the other doctor (the bird dude), he might be worse. We just never see him doing any doctor shit.

Also: What the hell are their names?! I'm so bad at remembering all the character's names from LD. I only ever remember Boimler's.

[–] cybervseas@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Dr.Migleemo is the ship's counselor, so much closer to Troi than Crusher.

[–] FordPrefect@startrek.website 3 points 1 year ago

Migleemo a' Trois, in 3... 2... 1...

[–] eva_sieve@startrek.website 4 points 1 year ago

left to right:

  • Phlox, USS Enterprise NX-01 (ENT)
  • Leonard "Bones" McCoy, USS Enterprise NCC-1701/-A (TOS)
  • Beverly Crusher, USS Enterprise NCC-1701-D/-E (TNG)
  • T'Ana, USS Cerritos NCC 75567 (LD)
  • Emergency Medical Hologram Mk. I, while there are many instantiations this one's presumably "the Doctor," USS Voyager NCC-74656/(-A) VOY/(+PRO, eventually)
  • Hugh Culber, USS Discovery NCC-1031/-A (DISCO)
[–] milkisklim@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

But Julian did find the spots....on Ezri.