The emoji let's you know that it's funny.
this post was submitted on 21 May 2025
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Thank you for correcting this Image
Americans will do literally anything to avoid eating more fiber
fiber is what makes the poop knife neccecary
Idk. In my experience fiber makes poops that are solid, but more easily broken up, while eating cheeseburgers exclusively makes dense greasy shits that stick together
Fibers cannot be burned, so your intestants will work harder because they want to burn everything. This makes the poo less solid. But only if you have enough liquids in your body. They make poo hard when you're not drinking enough.
Whenever you have hameroids for example you get fibers from the doctor to make poo less solid. But they always tell you to drink enough water with it.
You'd need 2 to 3 liters of water per day.
Are you one of those "carnivore diet" guys, who call fibers "carbs"?
Technically true although deceptive.
Fibers are the stuff that makes your poop hard and rock like. Sort of the inverse of diarhrea
I am not sure you've had fiber before...
They replaced the foods with crap. A lot of people can't afford vegetables and fruit and there are people living in food deserts who only have access to a family dollar for shopping.
It's a real problem and they just cut all the funding to help get healthier food into these places.
All from a reddit comment like 5 years ago.
5? I have some news for you....
Ahp ahp ahp ahp, we don't do that in this house, honey. We are devout believers and it is by our faith that we believe it was 5 short years ago, amen. :)
Yeah, I’m waiting to see Lemmy develop it’s own museum of weirdness.
I remember the Reddit poop knife, i’d rather not see it here.
Beans and not pooping for three days?
Around the time of the first Reddit exodus there was the person who said they needed to not poo for three days and was wondering what to do about it. Then there were bean memes but that's not really unique to Lemmy. Recently there was the one where everyone made German jokes because Americans can't read them when we come online.
We already have the cylinder guy, so that's a start
Cylinder guy?
Ah, turns out that was actually on Reddit, I just read about it on here 😅
I was talking about this Reddit post, where someone got a "cylinder" stuck in a tube and needed help removing it
I experienced a poop knife in real life. In Boy Scouts, there's a thing where you can go sail in a boat off the coast of Florida for a week. When the captain explained the rules, he talked about a stash of disposable knives in the head (bathroom).
Basically, he had issues with kids trying to hold their poops until they got to the mid-week stop on shore. They wouldn't make it and ended up clogging the 30 foot boat's plumbing with their product, so he explained that if we took a big enough shit we had to cut it up before flushing.
Why make it so short
Hmm it feels like there should be a red body down there...
I seriously wish there was something better to avoid leftovers. Brushes and whatever this shit is do not seem very sanitary to me, and for sure it's annoying you have to use them at all. Can't they do some durable coating and direct the water to hit shit with higher pressure? I feel like there is next to zero innovation in the toilet industry
Poop knife was a meme about something else, but to answer you, this is how you can do it.
- Flush.
- Get a strip of toilet paper.
- Lay it such that it is over the poo on the edge and also in the water.
- Because you recently flushed and the end is in water, the entire strip of toilet paper should now be wet and clinging to the edge.
- Flush again. The toilet paper gets sucked and/or pushed down and should get the poo with it.
I believe the Japanese are eons ahead of everyone else in toilet technology.
They make toilets with an automatic poop knife.
Or you could just shit in the garbage disposal
🤮
Have you tried adequate plumbing?
Imagine giving these to someone as a present
Invite them over. Make a cake. Wait to frost the cake until they're there. Frost Cake with a new clean poop knife. Eat cake. Gift poop knife while licking frosting off the clean knife. Wait for realizations.
I hope they are atleast single use!